Thursday, December 29, 2011

Two Gray Hairs.

Times of silence wear heavy on my two gray hairs.

They tell an untold story of 10 years of trial and error.

Speaking truths but more lies to self and god above,

Riddled with scars that are mended with understanding,
the thirst for truth and love.

Two gray hairs have seen their share of dilapidated dreams and run down homes and families.

Left vacant and left to gather the dust of remnants of what once was a beautiful life.

I've always said, "don't tell me I'm a child when I've come to know what's real and you are still living in a dream that's a living hell."

Times of silence wear heavy on my two gray hairs.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

We Are Family

We are a family,
Like a group of lions we are.

Ferocious, yet sweet,
we watch out for each other from afar.

No matter where we are,
We always will be safe.

Just a phone call away,
A surprise visit for Dad's sake.

We are a family,
Like leaves in a tree that fall.

Sometimes battered and bruised,
But through each other,
nothing can hurt us at all.

Through rough storms and wind,
We've all been through so much.

But nothing that could possibly,
Keep us apart or lose touch.

Our roots run so deep,
Our love is so thick,
We have more than others ever imagined,
Through strength we just click.

We are family,
Stay faithful and strong,
Our pack is always ready,
To help each other not fall.

Monday, December 19, 2011

My Lovely, Sweet Dear.

How could I not know you,
yet I think of you so much?
I feel you in me,
and we have barely even touched.
I see your smile,
and I smile too.
No need even to say that I love you.
Words are there without being said,
On days that you're with me,
I no longer feel scared.
The waiting is over,
now that you're here.
My heart in your hands now,
my lovely,
sweet dear.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Your Doors.

Your smell still lingers,
Makes me want more.
So intoxicating,
Let me explore.

All the ways,
To make you feel whole,
Are beckoning,
awaiting you,
If you open your doors.

Mmmmm I can feel it,
It goes oh so deep,
The way that you whisper,
While you're on your knees.

Humming softly,
The words that you speak,
Make me go crazy,
Baby I'm at my peak.

Love me now,
Love me more,
I'll always be ready,
To come through your doors.


You’re not losing me,
You lost me long ago.
Like a spider in its web,
You creeped so very slow.
Patiently waiting,
You drew me in.
Biting down,
Piercing my skin.
Poison leaking,
Through my veins,
I struggled daily,
But it was all in vain.
You held on,
Sinking deeper,
And I was sicker,
While you grew bigger.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Sands of Time.

I'm up against the sands of time.
Another year gone,
Dim moon rays shine.

Glimmering and waning,
Their way through the night,
My heart is stuttering,
To make decisions right.

I've sailed a long,
Long dismal way,
Misguided and lied to,
Heard violins play.

Listen so close,
The sand as it falls,
Squeezing right through,
Narrowly missing deaths calls.

Soundly slipped through,
Finding sunlight,
Time is still lingering now,
But not shining too bright.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Happy & Free.

I want to be happy,
I want to be free.

There is reason for certain,
This fire burns,
Deep inside me.

I don't want too much,
I just want enough.

I have so much to give,
For most,
It is rough.

I put myself out,
No lies from within,
Maybe that is just why,
They shun with a grin.

I want to be happy.
I want to be free.

Will you let me beside you?
I'll try to fit in.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Two Days.

I rest my head on this pillowcase.
The day has passed,
No time remains.
I've spent all that I can spend today,
Two days to go,
My story remains.

Breathe a bit,
For now won't quit.
A mistletoe,
A hug,
A kiss.

Soon enough a touch of gray,
Will turn us into dust one day.

I rest my head on this pillowcase.
The day has passed,
No time remains.
I've spent all that I can spend today.

Two days to go.
My story remains.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Cold, Winter Days of Loss.

I was ok for a while,
While I slept.

Although I dreamt of you,
Woke up and I softly wept.

Tears of loss and love,
I guess I'll push aside,

I can't think of anything else,
but you once by my side.

It's more than love,
Can't look away.

The leaves they fall,
Cold winter days.

I hold your picture,
To my heart so dear.

Memories not nearly faded,
They shine so clear.

I'll always remember the times I lied,
And told you things I just couldn't hide.

And especially on days,
With your sweet caress,
You'd pick me up,
Always at your best.

Your smile is what I'll always hold near,
Everyday when I wake up,
I won't scream in fear.

Good night sleep tight,
To you I'll say,

Tomorrow we'll all find,
Another day.

And although this life brings us toils and strife,
I'll sleep better knowing you're still in my life.

Friday, December 2, 2011


Hurt again,
I hang my head,
The same mistakes,
Weigh me down,
Like lead.

It's safe to say,
I deserve the pain,
But not like this,
Makes me insane.

I only did,
What you did too,
C'mon we both know,
It always takes two.

Don't make me out,
To be the cause,
2 wrongs aren't right,
You quit the fight.

I tried to talk,
But you chose to walk,
A text won't do,
Pick up the phone,
I'm still in shock.

Tonight I'll try and start anew,
A brand new day,
No table for two.

What is Love?

When I think of what is love,
I think of you.

The way you touch me,
The things you do.

It's not so much about the give and take,
With you it's more,
You simply radiate.

You'll probably never know what you mean to me,
Because I've made mistakes,
That mask the true me.

But I'll tell you this,
I'll never leave.

Even God can tell you,
I've been down on my hands and knees.

When I think of what is love,
I think of you.

The way you touch me,
The things you do...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Behind Closed Doors.

It's painful to know what happens behind closed doors.

It's painful to know what people do to others to amass more.

If we don't know,
We cant feel so shut the door.

It's easier to mask the pain and stay inside,

But we'll never find more.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Not free.
Wars all around.
Down on my knees.

Fight back.
Kicked down.
Suppress my speech.
To mask the sound.

Take a little.
They take more.
If up to them,
Would be sleeping on the cold floor.

Go to school.
To educate.
Uncle Sam will say,
It's a little too late.

Get a loan to pay the debts,
The crisis becomes,
More than a threat.

Not free.
Wars all around.
Down on my knees.

Fight back.
Kicked down.
Suppress my speech.
To mask the sound.

Saturday, November 19, 2011


Flourishing with life,
The blue Earth turns.

Spinning softly, humming through its cycles.

Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer, life is teeming and blossoming.
Developing and deconstructing.

Turning itself inside out exposing vulnerabilities to the inhabitants in all of it's savage fury and glory.

What kind of beauty would Earth be if it were traveled alone?

To share with no one,
Is too solitary for anything even as or more powerful than the universe to endure.

It is to die alone.


Friday, November 11, 2011

The Airport. (Flash Fiction)

I left her standing at the airport,
I couldn't go through with it.
My phone vibrated ferociously in my pocket over and over.
Wondering and dying inside from the question of why I kept ignoring her frantic calls.
But I kept hitting the ignore button every time her name, picture and number popped up on my blackberry.
It was painful.
It wasn't that I didn't want to see her,
Or that I didn't want to give her one last kiss or hug,
There isn't a reason.
Maybe I didn't want her to see me in the state that I was in.

After all,

It wasn't me who was standing at the airport.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Not yet.

Not yet.
Hold on.

Not yet.
Don't go.

Not yet.
Stay close.

Not yet.
Hold tight.

Not yet.
Not now.

Not yet.
Can't wait?

Not yet.
So far.

Not yet.
Not enough.

Not yet.
Too late.

Not yet.
No more.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I need you.

I need you,
water on my lips,
you quench a thirst from my parched soul that's cracked and blistered from long days and nights of wandering alone in the desert of this earthly existence.

I need you like a starved child waiting for a scrap in the dirt,
huddled in a corner,
my big brown eyes look to you in a stare of silence where words couldn't capture the terror I feel inside.

I need you,
like a fire needs the wind,
Feeding the flame with a natural fuel creating an inferno from the smallest of sparks,
cleansing the heart.

I need you.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Autumn Chill.

tired, disheveled walking along the edge of the water, she drags her feet through the sand. her hair hangs loosely, damp over her red, swollen eyes. they tell a tale of countless journeys begun which have turned into countless journeys never finished. most days she comes down to the water, but she's not alone. happy times, running and playing together, laughing and smiling with the sun's warm rays beating on their faces.

but not today.

it's only autumn,
but it's grown so cold.

her hands clasped tightly holding on to a dream that will never unfold.
the chill that she feels pierces her last bubble of hope in a chaos of bad dreams and nightmares which have become her reality.

i hope she feels the sun again one day.

it's only autumn,
but it's grown so cold.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

La Luz./The Light

una luz suave sobre su piel se ilumina las sombras que he anhelado ver.

con un movimiento delicado, tengo mi dedo por su mejilla brillante, mostrando una tierna sonrisa que brilla como una estrella moribunda.

tan brillante,
usted no puede dejar de cerrar los ojos para que su disipador de luz en el alma,
sosteniendo con fuerza y la respiración de su respiración en una a la vez,

nunca dejar ir.


soft light on her skin illuminates the the shadows i've longed to see.

with a delicate stroke, i run my finger along her glowing cheek, revealing a tender smile that sparkles like a dying star.

so bright,
you can't help but close your eyes to let her light sink in to your soul,
holding on tight and breathing her in one breathe at a time,

never letting go.

Te Quiero/I love you.

Por la noche cuando pongo mi cabeza para dormir,
me siento un torrente que no se puede explicar cuando pienso en la que me completa.

Es un esfuerzo inútil para hacer cualquier cosa cuando tú no estés, mi mente gira en círculos, los pensamientos de cuando estamos juntos.

En las noches de suerte,
sueño que estás conmigo y estamos riendo y la celebración de cada uno cerca de otro,

el olor de su perfume dulce me impregna a mi núcleo, tan profundo que son una fuerza misteriosamente vinculados por un amor y devoción el uno al otro que es no de este mundo.

Nunca me dejes otra vez, porque la tortura de despertar, no es más que una pesadilla que no puedo vivir con lo que no puedo soportar vivir sin ti.

Te quiero.
Te quiero.


At night when I lay my head to sleep,
I feel a rush that can not be explained when I think of you that completes me.

It is a futile effort to do anything when you're not around, my mind spins in circles, thoughts of when we are together.

On those lucky nights,
you sleep with me, we laugh and hold each other close.

the smell of your sweet perfume pervades me to my core, so deep that it is a force mysteriously linked by a love and devotion,
which is not of this world.

Never leave me again,
because the torture of awakening is just a nightmare I can not live with.

I can not bear to live without you.

I love you.
I love you.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


A sigh cannot express,
This feeling in his chest.

Sweet tender memories,
Lingering softly,
They most certainly will not rest.

Hunched over,
Crouching down,
His face,
It shows a frown.

Crows feet are setting in,
But his life is far from dim...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


Lonely without my baby love.
I look in and try to feel her hugs.
Sweet kisses and a perfect face,
she gives to me an exquisite taste.
A love so tender,
thoughtful and dear,

I'm always longing to have her near.
Lingering close,
I long for her touch,
I clutch my pillow,
it's just too much.
Off to dream land,
I hope to wake,

with her next to me,
I wish and pray.
Wishing me a good morning,
is how I love to start my day.
Til then I'll imagine and dream not just a crush,
the love I feel,
is real,
now hush.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I Would.

If I could shed a tear for
All my friends, family, and those who were
I would.

If I could take on the world,
And fight the insecurities that
You felt and turn them into strengths,
I would.

If I could take you out from
Under the bridge,
And put you in a warm place,
I would.

If I could make you feel God,
When you felt weak,
But didn't know where to look,
I would.

If I could come to you when you
Were down on your knees
In desperation,
I would.

If I could stand up when you
Felt like sitting,
I would.

Most importantly,
If I could give you the heart
To let you know you can,
I would but I can't.

You must find it all from within.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Beautiful Day.

Waking up is a beautiful thing.
Walk down the stairs,
I hear the birds sing.

Do you know how long it's taken?
The world's best things are free,
But I haven't been able to hear the sounds it makes,
For such a long, long time you see.

Listening to the strumming sound,
The soft beating of the drum,
The music of the Earth,
Is making me feel at one.

I used to be scared to be alone,
My thoughts would crowd my head,
With no escape around,
I'd take a breath and often would feel dead.

But I took another way,
And am finding new happy things,
Each and every day.

The only question is,
If I can find the right someone,
To come with me,
And play in this beautiful day.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Like a storm moving in.

Take me by the hand.
And lift me up.

Into your spinning vortex,
Spin me into your heart,
So we can be one.

I'm dancing in your pouring rain,
And I can't get enough of it.

Because I'm free.

Saturday, June 4, 2011


It's an ugly world sometimes,
The gray skies and cold,
Making my soul feel thin.

It's no wonder I look in,
To stay warm in the dim,
Deserted but not quite alone,
All I have and need,
I can dig out from within.

Never mind I tried,
Tried to be what the world wanted me to be,
But I found that I can't be myself,
When I don't have just enough.

Enough is all we need,
To wake up and be pleased,
Is not too much to ask,
It's as if sometimes,
Life is just a tease.

But I'll get what I need,
Through the hard times,
I'll get up off my knees.
Praying to God above,
No more will I beg and plead.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Truth of Us.

I'm hungry for the truth,
So tired of being fed an excuse,
For why you think you aren't,
The person you hoped and want.

I can't listen anymore with you here,
It's all too much to bear,
Because I know how much you house,
So much of your own pain inside,
I can't always be there. It's bringing me down,
I swear.

So let's give it just one more try,
Give me your hand let's make a plan,
Of what we'll do to make us better.
One more kiss,
It's gonna be just fine,
The summers right around the corner,
And you'll be mine all mine.
For tonight,
Loving you sends chills through my spine.

I know I can't always be there,
To be the one who laughs and cares,
But through all our fights,
I think I'm a man who's done alright.
So don't try to compare me,
With what your grand picture is,
I don't care.
I am who I am and if you love me,
Then I'll always be there.

Monday, May 30, 2011


You're not a friend
You're just a lie,
For once,
With me,
You cannot run and hide.

Your word is false,
Your actions too,
Deceive the rest,
But I for one,
I know the truth.

You've tried real hard,
To infiltrate,
A good friends trust,
Is hard to break.

But I know because,
I was once like you,
And ruined everything,
From mistrust too.

But I will not stand and take,
What you say to me,
It's not in vain.
Because I know,
It's all untrue,
At last the laugh,
It falls on you.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

You Are Special.

You are special,
Like a star in the sky.
Your light shines down on me,
So bright,
Brings tears to my eyes.

The words I love you,
Cannot express,
What you have done for me,
The feeling burns deep within my chest.

If I had one wish,
I must confess,
It'd be to give you,
All the best.
A romantic getaway,
Side by side,
Just me and you,
Listening to the tide.

Overlooking the cliffs,
Off the coast of Italy one day,
To the warm waters of the maldives,
We'd laugh and play.

Together us both,
Connecting as one,
Our love and lives once scattered,
Have come together,
Under the sun.

You are special like a star in the sky,
You have touched me,
In ways I cannot deny.
Don't ever let anyone affect your dreams,
Because it doesn't really matter,
Your power reigns supreme.

You've made a friend in me forever,
And know wherever in the world you'll be,
Our hearts will always remained tethered.

You are special,
Like a star in the sky.
Your light shines down on me,
So bright,
Brings tears to my eyes.

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Without a tear in my eye,
I lay down to cry...
And think thoughts of you.

A song warriors cry,
Of high C's yet and night,
Your greatness in flight...

Hills lost in sight,
The canyons just a cripe,
Filthy waters warm delight.

Like a stench in your trunk,
This night's such a bunk,
Gulfstream's gone to lunch.

Yet fools still alike,
From life's same insight,
Goodbye to tonight.

Warm feast of the night,
I feel so alive,
Yet I live to be shy.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Let them in just enough,

I feel it's a crush,

Internally damaged,

A smart one calls my bluff.

Not too far gone to fix,

But far enough to stay away,

This heart of mine may never,

Be healed enough for one to stay.

I think I've got something here,

Not too far or near,

Gray areas a shade,

Of where my life is at today.

But you would never guess,

Unless you would certainly know,

Exactly how it feels,

In this brain and soul that is home.

Two headed thoughts,

Good intentions not enough,

A strong heart is good,

But with no action,

Makes life just too damn rough.

I wait for the day,

For someone to press,

Deep in my heart,

To let it release,

Or so I pray.

Shit, dammit it to hell,

Just caught myself right then,

The human behavior,

Just hit me again.

See the problem usually is,

We think and we wait,

For someone to save us,

From our weakness we hate.

I'll let it go now,

Let's start fresh and new,

Internally combusted,

Good bye,
Au revoir,

I bid you adieu.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Feigning Kiss.

I love how you touch me,
I just want more and more.

You've got me addicted,
like a drug in my veins,
straight deep to my core.

I'm not sure that I want it,
but you've made me just need it,

I'm feigning for you,
but yet I just can't quite feed it.

Mmmm the way that you kiss me,
takes my stress all away,
releases me from life,
no running today.

Just stay for a while,
don't leave me this way,
you've got me so keep me,
so I don't run away...

Saturday, April 9, 2011


I remember having you.
Remember you having me.

Together doing nothing,
Was our favorite place to be.

I remember Saturdays,
And rainy days,
I remember loving you,
Even with all your crazy ways.

I remember you,
Taking care of me,
When I was at my lowest,
You would come,
I remember you saving me.

I remember laying down,
Next to you,
So many nights,
I remember telling you,
My hopes and dreams,
After we turned out the lights.

I remember you telling me,
What you wanted to always be,
I remember you saying,
The stage is meant for me.

I remember you touching me,
In ways that I never thought could be.
I even remember how many times,
You told me you wanted to marry me.

I remember certain times I shouldn't want to remember,
But I know in my heart,
Those times have made us better.

Most of all,
I remember,
The times we had,
Will last forever.
I know that,
Wherever we will be,
That we will always remember,
The time of you and me.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Easy Goin' Lovin.

Every day I wake up,
Doesn't have to be perfect.
Every day the sun doesn't have to be shining,
As long as I'm next to you.

Even though it's cloudy today,
It's still a beautiful day,
Here next to you.

Easy going with that acoustic sound,
Just me and you,
This love is found.

Simple as that,
That's all we need.
No need to get fancy with stuff that don't matter,
Cause all I need,
I've found in you.

Listen close to what I'm about to say,
Because when I say things like this,
I don't play.
You're all I want and all I need,
Stay next to me,
Our love will never fade.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Real or Fake.

What is real,
What is fake?

I cannot tell,
No I can't relate.

So many lies,
Told to me everyday,
That I don't even know,
What else to say.

What is real,
What is fake?

Where do we draw,
the line these days.

On what we do,
To get ourselves,
To where we wanna be some day.

Do you lie,
Do you cheat,
Do you steal?

Or do you sell something that's not even real?

What is real,
What is fake,

Which path,
Which road,
Will you go down today?

Friday, March 25, 2011


Scars won't heal from the past,
My fault.
They keep ripping open,
Revealing my fears,
I thought.
Thought I could forget
And just leave.

And when I'd come back,
Life would be fine.
Not me.

See things can't ever change,
Unless we change them.
Running is part of the problem,
I hate em'.

Why can't we just fix what we're afraid of,
Like in our dreams?
The ones where the skies are blue,
And the grass is green?

If it sounds too good,
Than it probably is.
Because if we woke up and our fears were gone,
We could never gain strength from within.

I've learned and grown to just live,
And work hard.
Fear will always be there,
But it just makes us strong.

Stronger than you've ever been before,
What you thought you'd never be,
You've become and more.

But unlike our dreams,
Life is real and we have to accept.
That things get rough,
And rise above the rest.

But first and foremost,
Don't ever leave.
Your fears are waiting,
And unless you fix them,
Will haunt your dreams.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Long, Cold Winter.

It's been a long, cold winter.
No end is in sight.

It's officially spring,
But clouds still mask the light.

Raindrops relentlessly,
Beating away,

My eyes feeling heavy,
With these dark skies,
So gray.

Looking out down below,
At the ants all around,

Living their dream,
With a big ugly frown.

I shout down below,
But they cannot hear,

Their engines are roaring,
Deafening my ears.

Hopefully the rain,
Will wash it all away.

The nonsense that is,
And bring blue skies my way.

Friday, March 11, 2011

ADDICT 1 & 2




Thursday, March 10, 2011

So Much.

So much I wanna do.
So much I wanna say.
So much I cannot do.
So much life is in the way.

So much for all those dreams.
So much for all those hopes.
So much for all the things,
So much I cannot cope.

So much I didn't do.
So much I cannot change.
So much it's killing me.
So much for being brave.

So much is still at stake.
So much I will not break.
So much I'll push on through.
So much my mind is strong today.

So much you'll never know.
So much I'll never say.
So much for me and you.
So much for yesterday.

So much for sleepless nights.
So much for scary fights.
So much for what they say.
So much to my dismay.

So much for doing one thing.
So much for normal ways.
So much for an easy life.

I'm doing it all today.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Time Is Near.

Everything's clear.

Mind made up.
Time is near.

Feelin' good.
It's no mistake.
The life I'm livin',
Is about to break.

Open that is,
You'll see inside,
What I've been keeping,
No more to hide.

15 maybe 20,
The years have led up,
To what I'm now doing,
I've filled up the cup.

I hate the saying,
Things happen for a reason.
But it sure feels like,
It's that time,
It's the season.

Man oh man,
It feels so damn good,
To look in the mirror,
And know what you're doin'.

Finally for once,
I'm living for me,
Not worrying about,
What the public may see.

It feels as if,
The wind took a hold,
Ripped out my old soul,
To make me feel whole.

Back to the beginning.
So windy.
So weird.

The clouds are clearing,
My time's finally near.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Me and You.

I wish I could.
Reach into your soul.
To give you what you need.
Feed you the life,
That I have inside of me.

Go back in time,
To re-write a lovely song...

The one that's laid out for you,
Is oh so ever wrong.

I barely can watch or bear,
Seeing you like this.

The pain that you are in,
Pains me,
So deep within.

If I could take your place,
I'd take the memories back.
Replace them with good ones,
Filling the space you lack.

My God,
I know so well,
What you're going through.

My heart feels and knows,
What it's like when you lose.

A part of me is lost forever,
Those ones I've left and loved.
All that we can do,
Is keep praying to God above.

Let your tears fall,
Fast and clean you out.
The time will heal the hurt,
But never cure the doubt.

Until then reach for me,
I'll reach out for you too.
Your hand in mine looks nice,
Not perfect,
But it feels oh so right,
Me and you.

I'll feed your hungry soul,
Each and every night.
My kisses run real deep,
Healing til your hearts delight.

Rest your head tonight,
Knowing all will be well.
Now that I am here,
This is where we can dwell.

Our hearts both intertwined,
Together finally as one.
Me and you forever,
Safe basking in the sun.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

A Fool.

You look like a star,
But you're just a fool.

Walking around the city,
Spending money you don't have,
So uncool.

Typical of you to fall right in,
The trap of the world,
What a waste,
What a sin.

Funny how things change.
Once a nice small town girl,
But now,
Dolled up,
Such a lame little game unfurled.

Too bad you couldn't remember where you're from,
Looks like the glitter and the lights,
Has got you burnt,
From the sun.

If people just only knew,
Who you really were,
I doubt you'd have any friends,
Just a silly girl.

I'm not bitter,
I'm just saying it how it is,
Something you should take a lesson from,
So you quit acting like a kid.

Cause when the world starts to crumble all around,
You know,
It's gonna be too late,
I won't be found.

You go ahead and hold on to your ray bans,
And skinny tights.
I'll be good without you,
And all the lame ass fights.

At the end of the day,
I know what's real.
And even if I don't have any friends,
It's chill,
No big deal.

Because I know who I am,
And where I'm from.
And if you don't fit that bill,
Do yourself a favor,
And stare up at the sun.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Dark Clouds.

Let the rain and darkness roll in,
Clouds slowly drifting this way.

Cold day in February sets in,
Dark thoughts slowly creeping my way.

It's so typical this time of year,
That time when everything is cold and gray.

When nothing really feels good anymore,
Nothing good seems to come your way.

This familiar story is getting old,
The loneliness ridiculous in it's ways.

When all you're left with is your dreams
And a roof over your head,
That should be enough for the day.

But we live in a world where enough is never good enough,
More and more feeds our own dismay.

Because when we always want what we don't have,
Our spirits lose in every possible way.

There they are those clouds,
Winds blowing them harder now this way.

Time to turn these thoughts off for now.
Tomorrow will be ok.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What I am.

So many new feelings pour out
From me inside...
No more wanting to hold back who I
No more reason to run and hide.

I am what I am,
What can I say?

What people will think,
Just doesn't matter anymore,

I am an artist, a lover, and writer
What ever else life throws my way,
I'll just calmly set aside.

And just pray to God to give me
another day,
To practice my love, my craft, and
my art to my best each and every
living day.

I'll never give up,
No back up plan.

The thought of losing,
Is not an option,

And you can too,
If you just practice hard too.
Focus more on doing,
Rather than saying what you wanna

Life's hard enough with all our trials,
Every day spent laboring,
Takes it's toll,
Never ending miles.

The time is NOW,
Let's walk the walk.
C'mon my friends,
Like I said,
Life's too short for talk.

I'll hold your hand,
If you hold mine too.
All the way till the end,

Just me and you.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My way.

Can't get away from what's toxic.
You'd think she'd know by now,
She's nauseous.

Thinking of when he was with her,
When in reality,
She was really just a number,
Number 6? 5? 4?

I could have called it from a mile away,
Even your Facebook friends said, hey girl,
no way.

This guy is all a front,
Run away,
Sit tight.

There'll be another who wants you who'll love,
And stay up with you all night.

But you're so stubborn,
Like a Taurus with those horns,
You did whatever you wanted,
Now you're on the floor.

Curled up,
And crying,
Like the stupid one.

Saying I told you so,
It's just no fun.

blind by lust,
You couldn't see.
The real nice guy over there,
Begging to talk to you,
On his knee.

But guess what,
It's my story,
And I can write it this way.

And as you can see by now,
It's much too late.
The damage is done,
And you are gone,
This is my way.

Next time you should think and listen,
Before you let your actions speak.

And maybe then,
One day,
You can get your way.
Like me.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Always you.

I love you.
Yes I do.
Deeper now.
Than I never knew.

God it's crazy,
How much I care.
Our hearts are like one,
Intertwined like a stare.

A stare where you can't look away,
Days and nights turn into years,
Forever with each passing day.

Finally the puzzle piece that went missing,
Turned up as we laid there kissing.

I know you've maybe heard this same love song before,
As if it's somewhat a bore.

But I know with you,
This love is real.

I know now,
I won't have to live in fear.

Cause you're the missing link,
My heart no longer feels as if it was weak.

And to just think you were there all along.
And it took us this many years to write our song.

I'm at least glad now,
That I know today.

That you're all I've ever loved,
Each and every single day.

Know that I'll always be here,
And neither of us will live in fear.

Cause I know you're the one,
My precious,
My love,
My darling dear.

Sweet, Love. Waiting.

I'm hungry for life.
Longing for real.

This dry spell must pass,
So again I can feel.

What it is like,
To feel warm sweet love,

The time's quickly passing,
Laughing from up above.

Taunting me daily,
Feeling regret,

Making it all,
So hard to forget.

Is it too much to ask?
To feel it again?

Warm feeling so close,
Skin shining,
So fair.

Breathe deep inhaling,
Aromas long lost,

So quick to come back,
To what I needed the most.

A simple touch,
Or a brush of her hair,

Would make the hairs on my neck,
Stand up,
Without a care.

Today is the day,
I'll make peace with this love,

And genuinely wait,
Til it's sent from above.

Until then,
I'll just wander,
No worries if it's late.

To feel it again,
Forever I'd wait.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Looking down.

I'm drowning and no one can hear me.
Kicking and screaming,
But yet no one still sees me.

My life flashes before my eyes,
There's no time,
It all passes by,
Can't even cry.

Can't believe it's all led up to this,
A single moment,
Defined by a life that will be missed.

Drowning in emotions no one will ever know,
How hard it's been for me in this world alone.
The only one who has ever been able to relate,
Broke my heart,
And lives miles away.

I don't want it to end this way.
Stepping to the edge,
There's just no looking away.
The sky so blue,
Clouds a shade of gray,
I see the ocean clear,
But nothing can help me,
How I feel today.

The most beautiful music echoes in my head,
But yet I still feel so and completely dead.

My time line didn't come to pass,
It seems as if I've completely fallen on my ass.
Missed the boat, the train, the bus,
So now I'm standing on the edge,
About to bust.

Close my eyes,
Time to hold on tight.
Feel my body take it's final flight.
Oh god,
wait for me I'm coming home.

Please tell my family,
Not to answer the phone.
They didn't lose anything by this,
But gained a knowledge,
Of knowing that I've finally acknowledged.

Some people just aren't meant to be,
Locked in this life,
Down on their knees.
After all,
We should be free.
From whatever it is,
That makes us bleed.

So for tonight,
You hold on tight.
And know that things,
Will be alright.
I've flown away,
And found my path.
And never plan,
To ever look back.

Spreading my wings,
I'll forever soar.
Always looking down,
With a smile,
Like yours.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Prayer for you.

Oh lord,
I beg thee,
Stay with me,
Please don't leave my side.

Oh lord,
Don't let me,
Forget the things,
You've put me here to do.

I'm not the same person I was before.
I've changed for the better,
Only through you,
I want to be more,

Oh lord,
I beg thee,
Stay with me,
Don't leave my side.

I know that I am where I am because of you,
And that when the time is right,
I will finally push through.

Oh lord,
I beg thee,
Stay with me,
Don't leave my side.

Although tough times sometimes seem,
To outweigh the good,
There's nothing that you've put me though,
That didn't break me down,
For my own good.

Oh lord,
I beg thee,
Stay with me,
Don't leave my side.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Dirty reflection.

Ok outside,
But deeply troubled.
Red's the color,
Of his heart's burst bubble.

Dead from all the pain inside,
His face tells the story,
That he can no longer hide.

Eyes look gray,
They droop and sag.
Black underneath,
Like tar,
So sad.

Can't remember,
His reflection in the mirror,
It's been so long,
Since he's been able to see himself,
Much clearer.

So lost,
So deep,
He cannot cry.
A single tear,
His eyes gone dry.

All that he has,
Are darkened days,
The skies turned gray,
Blue's gone away.

He asks,
"How has it come to this?
I don't even know how I got like this".
One minute,
I'm the star,
They all await.
Next thing you know,
All's gone away.

Left here alone,
With her and I.
Most days I ask,
God, why oh why.

Why did you take the one thing I love?
With you that day,
Up above?
You know that if he would have never died,
I feel that I just might have fully thrived.

But instead I'm lost,
In this living hell.
Locked inside,
With little room to dwell.

What can I say,
Things happen a certain way.
Can't blame you,
For where I am today.

My reflection shows,
The truths unsaid,
The lies I've told,
Man I should be dead.

But for some reason,
You've kept me here,
And for that alone,
I hold you dear.

I may not be what you've had in mind,
But I'll sure as hell,
Give it a try.
To try and change,
For you to please,
Release me from,
This awful disease.

Give me the strength,
To be ME again,
And I promise you this,
I'll finally move on,
All the way to the end.

My reflection will no longer be,
The pain that I hold inside of me.
Instead it will finally reflect,
The love I have,
That was once dead.

And I will blossom again one day,
And look up and say,
"I can't believe that was me that day."
I never want to go back,
To the person I was,
Because it wasn't me,
The disease had won.
But now,
I've turned my back.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I do what I can.
Don't need a million fans.

It's just what I do,
No need to feel cool.

I've taken my hits,
And paid all my dues,

I know sometime soon,
They'll all feel it too.

Gotta stay strong,
And dig deep within,

It's getting late at night,
The line's awful thin.

Careful to cross it,
Fearfuls a sin,

I won't let it snap,
Before I'm off with a grin.

It's time to make it,
To take the last step,

The journey has come,
To the end of it's fate.

Finally arrived,
No I won't be late,

Time to jump in,
And run through the gates.

Monday, January 31, 2011

By my side

Yeah I know you'll do just fine.
With or without me in your life.
Even though you may not always be
By my side,
A part of you I'll always keep inside.

Just know, just know, just know.
I'll always be here,
Waiting for you.
Just know, just know, just know.
I'll always be here,
Waiting for you.

I know that there are days,
When you wake up alone,
And you're crying inside,
Because of me.
Because of me.
But know that I'm alright,
Turn over and hold your pillow tight,
Because I'm always by your side.

Just know, just know, just know.
I'll always be here,
Waiting for you.
Just know, just know, just know.
I'll always be here,
Waiting for you.

The days get harder before they get easy.
Time has put us to the test.
9 days have passed and I still can't rest.
Not knowing where you are is killing me.
Or knowing who you're with,
Is just a bad dream.
I hope you remember what we've been through,
Cause I'm telling you,
I still love you.

Just know, just know, just know.
I'll always be here,
Waiting for you.
Just know, just know, just know.
I'll always be here,
Waiting for you.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sleepy prayer.

I lay in bed,
Time to sleep,

Close the curtains,
Breathe in deep,

Say my prayers,
And close my eyes,

Ask the lord,
To be by my side.

The days keep getting,
Longer each day,

With every hour that passes,
A new hair turns gray.

What a journey,
This thing called life,

Filled to the top,
With this thing called strife.

It never ends,
Feeling this way,

Not knowing,
What's coming each day.

But life is such,
A strange strange thing,

Not even Nostradamus,
Could know what it shall bring.

Relying on ourselves,
Is tough these days,

When what you bring in,
Goes out almost each single day.

Can't think like that,
I know it's true,

That looking back,
It brings no good.

Time to sleep,
And dream a dream,

Of a simple life,
Where the grass is green.

Nothing to worry about,
We could even fly,

Across the deserts,
Out in the clear skies.

Goodnight my world,
I'll dream of you,

If you let me sleep well,
I'll be good to you.

I promise to smile,
And laugh and pray,

And hope tomorrow,
Will be a better day.

Monday, January 24, 2011


I get dark.
Like the black of the sky.
The black of the clouds before a tornado forms.

I get dark.
So dark no light shines.
Reflecting off the vanity of Southern California.

I get dark.
And can't help it.
Because I feel desperate and desolate inside.

I get dark.
From trying so hard to get minimal results.
Although I know I'm further along than I think.

I get dark.
From all these damn people around me who just won't shut the fuck up.
Quit talking for a minute and listen before you speak.

I get dark.
From censorship.
And from living in a country who preaches justice and equality for all but wouldn't know the definition of equality if it hit them in face with a 2 by 4.

I get dark.
From bottling up frustrations and secrets.
No more holding back.
The world needs to hear me.

I get dark.
from everyone thinking there is one right or wrong way to live life.
Be smart.
Be intelligent.
Read something and explore more options that what you're bred to follow.
Fucking robots and machines.

I get dark.
From not being around more people around me who understand IT.
if I have to explain what IT is,
Then I can't be your friend.

I get dark.
From taking the passive aggressive road in life for so long.
And from thinking that people who hung out with me actually hung out with me because they liked me and not because they thought I was a good person.

I get dark.
From people who can't get over the past.
We can't get it back.
We have to move forward.
Every day spent dwelling in the past,
Is one day taken away from living your future.

I get dark.
For even having to write this.
But at least you have a better idea who I really am instead of looking at my Facebook and thinking you know every single detail of my life without spending more than a few hours with me.

I get dark.
Every single day when I'm not doing what I love.
And even though I am very dark most of the time.

I strive to find the light.
Once I find it,
I'll bring you with me.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Lost Woman.

House is clean,
But still it's cold.

Wood floors creak,
And dad's not home.

The dust has settled,
Or so it seems.

Most of the problems,
Have left unseen.

But she's still there,
And she's alone.

Poor woman's been wandering,
In her own home.

With nothing else,
Or not a care,

The one she loved,
Is still not there.

I cannot blame her,
For what she does,

Because I cannot feel,
The pain she does.

I only imagine,
How it would seem,

To lose the only,
One you've ever loved,

So for tonight,
The house stays clean,

The floors will creak,
The leaky faucet,

Will surely leak.
But at least I've come,

To finally know,
Just how she feels,

When he's not home.

Friday, January 21, 2011


Believe in yourself.
Cause no one else will.

See for yourself,
The life you must live.

Never stopping to take,
A glance or two back,

The pace must be steady,
Always staying on track.

Time will stand still,
While you're in this race,

The only difference is,
No timer is in place.

Do what you must,
Until the end of the road,

The path isn't always clear,
The weather can be cold.

Believe in yourself,
Is the most powerful tool,

Without faith everyday,
You'd just be a fool.

Investing your time,
In yourself everyday,

May seem like a drag,
But will be worth it one day.

So believe in yourself,
And just do your best.

And the life that you want,
Will be yours,

No regrets.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

One way.

People think I'm crazy.
But I think I'm doing fine.

God forbid they let me,
Speak from my own mind.

Their opinion only matters,
Whatever it is they say,
Emanates from their lips,
Foul words in every way.

Always quick to judge,
Even quicker to my dismay,
Before they even listen,
Their mind is already made up anyway.

I give up on trying to convince,
The ones who will not listen.
Even worse the ignorant,
Good lives that they are missin'.

If just for once they'd stop,
And listen to what I say,
I promise you that they,
Would have a brighter day.

Keep your minds and heart open,
Open your doors in every way,
And I promise someone will listen,
To what you have to say.

Be strong and always remember,
That helps not far away.
Your friends are even closer,
With every good thought today.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Found myself.

Guess what?
I've found myself today.
Yeah times are hard.
But I know,
Good is on the way.
Staying strong,
The light will,
Guide me on my way.

Gotta stand up,
Gotta be strong,
Gotta be me,
Gotta move on.
There's no more waiting.

Guess what?
I'm finally seeing what's wrong.
This life is all a journey,
But it doesn't have to be alone.
All I wanna do,
Is sing this song,
Over and over until this feelings gone.

Gotta stand up,
Gotta be strong,
Gotta be me,
Gotta move on.
There's no more waiting.

So that's it,
The time has come and gone,
Now that you know who you are,
Stand up and be strong.
Your destinations await,
Time to move on.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Trouble maker.

I know she's not right,
But her trouble making eyes,
Are in my sight.

Moving in all the right ways,
She makes me feel high,
Just out of my mind,
Floating in the sky.

Can't take my mind off her,
And those trouble making eyes,
Luring me in everytime.
She likes what I like,
Can't say that's not right.

Moving in all the right ways,
She makes me feel high,
Just out of my mind,
Floating in the sky.

Can't get away from her,
Or her trouble making eyes.
On my mind now,
Day and night.
Can't shake the feeling,
I have inside.
Just want to hold her close,
And I know I'll be alright.

Can't get away from her,
Damn those trouble making eyes.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Love is.

Love is patient,
Love is kind,

Love can make you,
Lose your mind.

Love can envy,
Love can hate,

Love does not,
Choose my fate.

Love can suffer,
Love can bleed,
Love can bring you,
To your knees.

Love can sting,
Love can bite,
Love will fight,
With all it's might.

Love plays dirty,
Love plays clean,
Love can definitely,
Be real mean.

I still chose Love,
Over hate,
Love sometimes,
Will call in late.

So keep it simple,
And keep it straight,
And know that Love,
It never hates.

Cling to it tight,
And it will be,
The thing that saves you,
Who knows,
Not me.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Ocean Breeze.

Like the ocean breeze,
Pushing and pulling,
Life is an open book,
Pages still turning free.

Memories lost,
Memories gained.
Sometimes it all feels like a dreadful game.

Of cat and mouse or hide and seek,
You never know what life will bring.

Please God,
I pray bring me peace,
And calm this beast inside of me.

Let me know that you're still there,
I promise to never stop or care.
My book will read,
All you write.
Never ever giving up the fight.

I am your soldier,
In this race.
Until my fate comes,
Tears stream down my face.

I'll turn the page now,
And begin a new chapter,
For my honor,
I'll seek your power.

Send the ocean breeze,
To cure what's inside of me.
Take it's poison out to sea,

Until the day,
You bury me,
I will do anything,
You carry me.

To live through you,
And for my life,
Never stopping in the midst of strife.

Taking all those,
Around with me,
On my journey to always please.

Sleep tight,
I pray for all of you tonight.

Peace lies within us all,
If we just ask,
We will not fall.

Ocean breeze will never fade,
The sunlight shines,
Sun will not sway.
Be good,
Be free,
It's almost time,
The cold will ease.

You wait,
And see.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I hate not knowing what's coming next.

In this life,
I only want the best.

Turn the corner now,
Got whats bad off my chest,
I feel like I can rise above the rest.

Soaring high not staying low,
I want my friends and family to always know.

That I never want them to feel as alone as me,
A feeling no one should ever know,
It's hell on Earth,
No one should ever see.

An anxiousness inside of me,
Constantly worried of what others think.

Instead of relying on what's inside,
So much easier to run and hide.

This year my efforts will only grow,
And what ever comes next I'll always know.

That I can only do my best,
And with that said,

Soar above the rest.