Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Envy

I wish I could say that it wasn't true.
That I envy you,
And what you have is not true.
Much better at this,
even better at that.
No way I could match,
the things that you have.
Even the friends,
you refuse to hold close,
are better than what,
Us poor people know.

But you do not see,
what others perceive,
as living the dream.

Instead you mock it,
the life that you live.
And spit on the ground,
of those who keep it.

Close to their hearts,
and even their souls.
And pray of those things,
we'd lose our life for.

I hope that one day,
you'll finally learn.
That what you have,
cannot be relearned.
For once it is gone,
it'll haunt your dark dreams.
And gnaw at your conscience,
your hopes and your dreams.

For all that you had,
and all that you've learned.
Won't follow you to,
those pearly white doors.

So hold up your head,
and snap out of it.
Cause shit could get bad,
before you get in.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

What's the hurry?

What's the hurry?
What's the rush?

The race to love that is,
is surely bust.

Full of all these lies and thoughts,
of what one should and should not touch.

I can't believe,
there's so much hype.

In something that,
is nothing like.

Anything close to what is real,
and what is not what one can feel.

What's the rush?
To prove one's fate?
Of something that's not give and take.

To hurry up and wait is just,
a waste to me,
I would not touch.

You haven't told me,
what your answer is.
To this false love,
teenagers live.

But not just teens,
who say "I do".
But moms and dads,
and brother's too.

So what's the rush,
at such an age,
where one may need,
their mother's gauge.

On what is right,
and what is wrong.

I thought you knew
what you were gettting into.

Maybe you should think,
just twice or more.

Of what you do,
when they're at the door.

Asking you to give not take.
A love you may,
just truly hate.

Forgotten love.

I forgot about you.
I forgot how good you smelled.
How good you felt.

I forgot about you and how much you made laugh.
How much you made me smile.
I forgot how much I loved to be with you all hours of the day and how nothing could ever come between us.

I forgot how much you loved me and how you would do anything to protect me.
I forgot about all those things, I regret to say.
My heart's turned cold and dark,
Like black oil,
Seeping from the ground.

Everything forgotten has made me into a frigid being,
Tormented by love lost not to be found.
I forgot that feeling.
Of not being loved until now.

Forgotten how much it hurts to be alone with no sense of love or being loved.
The cold,
dark,
oily canvas of forgotten love will haunt me to my grave.

Forget it love.

Because I have.

Another fight.

Ear plugs in,
shut out the light.
Please be quiet,
don't wanna fight.
About the kitchen,
about the clothes,
I left in my room,
or on the floor.

Another dish,
another that,
thank god for me,
who's cleaned and kept.
This house in order,
just long enough,
to fend off all,
the cluttered stuff.

The house is fine,
but not quite warm.
A cold chill,
comes through the door.

And leaves me with,
an empty stare,
of something that,
was usually there.

You see this house is not,
a home.
It cannot be,
without a throne.
A throne that sits with cobwebs she,
forgot to clean,
how could this be?

So many years have come to pass,
that I can still,
remember that.
The days he would,
come through that door.
And yell his name,
even so poor.

But it's all gone,
and it's fine for me,
because I know,
what she can't see.

And further more,
she never will,
know just how much,
he watches this.

And later on,
that judgment day,
he'll ask and say,
what happened babe?

I thought I asked for you to love,
with all your heart,
to give up all,
what we once loved.
And live for them,
so they might see.
The joy in what,
this life could be.

I know this is,
so hard for you.
But believe me you,
my heart's died too.

But when I get to hold you again,
it will be,
much different.
For finally,
we'll come again,
and have a family,
once again.

To never cry,
or hurt or bleed.
Just them and you,
the lord and me.