Friday, December 31, 2010

The Frost.

Frost sets in.
Ice layer is thin,
Nearly cracking,
Walking begins.

The first step,
Most perilous fate,
I hear a crack,
Can't run away.

Sinking fast,
Crying within,
Can't believe that winter,
Has gotten him.

That pesky frost,
Ruined my day,
Made the ice,
Crack today.

Kicking hard,
Gasping big,
The water engulfs,
His lungs within.

Slowly fading,
Into the black abyss,
He calls and cries,
But no one hears.

In his mind he thinks,
How could this be?
That people cannot possibly hear me?
Don't they see,
I've fallen in,
Or hear the the crack,
Of the ice I'm in?

But no time to think,
Cause this man must live,
After all his life depends,
On solely his own hands.
To live.

No one else to come,
And save his day,
He takes one last breath,
And kicks away.

Shooting up,
From the frigid ground,
He hits the ice,
But can't get through,
He's found.

Damn! He thinks,
There's just no way,
That today I'm gonna,
Save the day.

So he takes one look,
Up at the dim sun,
Through the ice it seems,
His time is done.

And he thinks to himself,
The damn frost took me away,
I never thought,
It'd all end this way.

So he closed his eyes,
And counted to ten,
But suddenly,
Awoke again.

Sudden energy,
Filled his veins,
He swam and kicked,
And found his way.

See he says,
I knew I won.
That frost was bad,
But it never won.

I had it in me,
To win today,
But almost gave up,
And died today.

I promise that I'll never let,
An obstacle hold me back again.
I'll always push,
To the bitter end.
And I know the frost,
Won't ever take me again.

Wash away.

Wash away the old me.
Bring in the new.

I never wanna be,
The same that I used to.

2010 ran a little long,
Don't you think?
Too much has gone wrong.

Wash away the old me.
Bring in the new.

Can't wait to see,
What comes in June.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Lost Friend

It's lonely here without you.
And colder now,
It's Christmas too.
The clock is ticking the time is near.
To new year's but still not clear.
Oh yes.
All signs are pointing to you.

Feel like not much time has passed,
Even though so much has changed,
It's amazing what God has planned,
To bring us together this way,
Yeah,
Can't say I haven't missed you much.
Just so glad to feel your touch.

Lost friend,
So glad you found me.
Found me once again.
Promise me you'll never leave.
Never leave.
You've got me near,
Things are finally clear.
Never leave again.

To feel your touch,
To smell your skin,
It brings such a grin.
Close your eyes,
Hold me tight,
I promise we'll be alright.

Lost friend,
So glad you found me.
Found me once again.
Promise me you'll never leave.
Never leave.
You've got me near,
Things are finally clear.
Never leave again.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Troubled.

Troubled mind.
Troubled heart.
Both of you,
Worlds apart.
Intertwined,
No mistake.
Want it all,
To go away.
Live my life,
Like they do,
Smile and hug,
And kisses too.
Why am I,
So far away?
I feel so close,
To giving up these days.
Troubled mind,
Troubled heart,
What's the problem,
Where to start?
Everyday,
It's all the same.
I look for something,
That doesn't come my way.
Try so hard,
it's all my fault.
I know that things,
do come apart.
Troubled mind,
Please go away.
Can you do me a favor,
Come back another day?
My troubled heart,
Needs some time to feel,
It's been a while.
Troubled mind,
Troubled heart,
Why can't you seem,
to beat apart?
One for one,
Not both the same?
See I can't deal with both,
go easy today.

Drive away.

Sometimes I feel like driving away.
Taking nothing and leaving it all.

What's the big deal anyways,
The road won't break my fall.

I'd like to just drive off into the sun,
Not turning to look back sounds like so much fun.

Letting the light hit me square in the face,
To take a big break from running the race.

The fantasy of getting away,
I think it's almost too much to take.

Letting it take over my soul,
Like a heartbeat it pulses, pushes and pulls in different ways.

Taking all my strength I push it away,
That feeling that makes me feel like leaving again.

I know the other side's not greener,
But hey man,
the sky sure looks a lot clearer.

Over here things are cloudy and grey,
7 days in a row and I feel nothing's changed.

Still post the same old thing everyday,
Cause the feeling of sad and alone lingers each day.

See the idea of driving,
Driving away.

Never seems to leave me each day.
It sits there and it's always so near.

That maybe one day it will finally become clear.
In my mind that what I'm doing today.

Will be for the best and not for the worst,
Some reassurance to let me know this life is not cursed.

But for now I'll sit here and dream life away,
And think of things and places where I'd rather be everyday.

Cause isn't that the dream that we all can't dismiss?
The dream to be happy, in love, all good and pure bliss?

For now I'll let it slide no more prodding today,
At the things in which I'm doing each day.

So goodnight to you all and keep dreaming away,
And I'll keep on going too,
Driving my way.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Reaching for you.

The left side of my bed is still cold.
I reach for you so much,
You don't even know.

Am I awake or is it a dream?
Because not having you here,
Is still haunting me.

I wake up a mess,
Still looking for you.
More tossing and turning,
No nothing will do.

I can't just erase,
The memories we had.
But sure if I could,
I'd take them all back.

5 years of your life is so much to give,
Now 4 years have passed,
The nightmare still lives.

Dream on and dream on,
Dreams take me away.
To a place I can breathe,
Where no memories await.

Where the breezes blow soft,
And the sun glistens warm.
Where the willow trees shade me,
And I can be warm.

Please do me that favor,
And I promise you this,
That I will move forward,
Try this again.

To give all my heart,
Is all I can do.
And hope I don't awake again,
Reaching for you.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Dream alone.

I love to love but no one loves me
I sit and wait but I know that it's too late
The time has passed the door has closed.
I'm all alone.

Listening to the sound of my own breath,
I lay my head on my pillow and fall asleep again.
I dream of you if you're still there,
An imagination of mine,
Out of thin air.
The sweetest touch you're heaven sent.
God must have cried after you left.
But just a dream so sad you see,
My imagination has once again left me.

Time to wake up now to the sounds again.
The birds are chirping in the cold gray air.
And I'm alone and stare straight up,
And think why not just lay here, why should I get up?
It's cold and I'm just sitting there.
Doesn't matter anyways, no one to care.
Maybe this time around a happy ending doesn't come.
After all, it's winter, can't see the sun.
I'll change my mind if I ever get warm.
Until then I'll stay here.
Just me,
No one.

Reflection II

Sometimes I feel so glad to be blind.

Just so I won't see that reflection of mine.

Of days gone past and years that grow old.

My face still shows the lines they've told.

A wrinkle here a wrinkle there,

That one shows the truth or dare.

I know that I will eventually grow old,

But it doesn't mean I must grow cold.

So why is it I cannot face,

The things in which they line my face?

I know I've run for oh so long.

Guess the time has come to stop the fun.

Just sticking with the plan once more,

And living my life,

Never a bore.

Blind as ever my reflection fades,

Into the past,

Another day.

I can't stop now I've come too far,

So goodnight now,

Look at the stars.

And wish for me a bright today,

Cause tomorrow night,

I just may feel this way.

And I promise to always do my best,

And not fit in with all the rest.

I'll go and go and go and do,

The things in which I know to do.

And just with that I feel good today.

To know the lines they'll never fade.

There they rest they'll always be.

A part of me from sea to sea.

So goodnight and rest your head this weary day,

Tomorrow surely is another day.

Don't forget you promised me,

To wish a better day for me.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Come home.

I'm awfully sad today.


Can't come out and play.


You know more died today.


Bet you didn't know.


Out across the sea,


And over the willow trees,


Hanging from the breeze,


Somewhere down on his knees.


Blistering sand and searing heat,


Fighting for US to eat.


I'm awfully sad today,


Can't come out and play.


I'm worried but no one else is.


About my friend today.


He's alone and and no one knows.


That he might never come home.


To see his families faces,


To not have a worry or a care.


Would be better than where his is,


While you just sit with that blank stare.


I'm awfully sad today,


Can't come out and play.


I'm staying where I am,


Til' they all come home one day.

Who are you?

Most people spend their whole lives trying
To Hide.

They don't want you to know who they are.

I have been spending my whole life.
Trying to let people understand WHO I AM.

Who are you anyways?
Or do you even know?

Who do you want to be.
Where you you want to go?

I want to live high.
Live high and sing bright.

Over the mountains and through the sky.
Sing so loud it makes you cry.

I am who I am,
I told you.

But you wouldn't know,
You're a little too blind.

If I slit my wrists in front of you,
You'd probably let me die.

So who are you behind that mask may I ask?
Because if I can't figure it out,
Chances are you won't last.

It seems we have a dilemma with no questions asked.
Because things aren't always what they seem,
Even when you can see through the glass.

I am who I am.
Who are you?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

We'll be fine.

It's true they say that love is blind.

Most time we all just think it's fine.

Love that is it's all just missed.

In front one minute the next you're sick.

Knowing that you lost someone.

Before you even knew them.

Dumb.

For making same mistakes.

Over and over,

Not just a bad day.

Because we're getting older and losing time.

Love won't have mercy just cause' we are blind.

So take a chance,

Take a risk.

Hold on tight,

So you won't miss this.

You may not recognize today.

But I'm telling you,

Things work out in mysterious ways.

I will do the same if you,

Promise to meet me a quarter past 2.

The bench in front of Ocean one day.

The one that overlooks the bay.

And I promise cross my heart for you.

That I will always be there for you.

I will never hurt or make you cry.

I will only bring you with me,

By my side.

Forever has nothing on us no way.

Even Zeus couldn't keep us at bay.

So don't forget to bring the wine.

Cause I promise babe,

We'll be just fine.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Cold.

It's cold all the time here.
Where the grass doesn't grow.

The wind doesn't blow through the trees,
And the leaves don't crunch under
Your feet,
No.

A dream is just a dream here,
And all you have is fears.

What kind of place do we live in,
Where the only answers no?
Where black wins over gold,
Nights are always cold,
No comfort but your own.

It's always cold here he moans.
Turning over he softly holds.
A torn memory of what is old.
A touch,
A glance,
A warm smile there,
white teeth,
Couldn't hide from the blaring glare,
Some warmth.
It's still too cold...

Safe with me.

I would keep you safe and warm.
No one could harm you here,
You're safe from the storm.

I would protect you and guide you,
Cause I'd be right beside you.
Knowing what's best,
Cause you act just like I do.

Intertwined souls,
Two hearts in just one,
Our only problem would be,
Maybe just too much damn fun.

I'm perfect for you,
You just may not see,
From where you are standing,
I'll stand taller now look up,
Yes love,
That's me.

I've always been here,
And have always been there,
You've just never looked up to see or to care.

Alas it doesn't matter,
No worries at all,
All this time I've been waiting,
To pick you up when you fall.

I'm just happy to say,
That the times finally come.
You in my warm arms,
God can see from above.

You now have me forever,
Now you'll always be,
My baby,
My love,
And always,
Just you and just me.

Gravity

I don't feel happy.
I don't feel good.
It's not that I've done,
Anything but do good.

So what's with this feelin,
I'm holdin inside,
That makes me feel ill,
Just makes me wanna cry.

Have to just separate,
From those who I love,
To try and push through,
To get what's above.

The beautiful stars,
And gigantic full moon,
Are pulling me towards them,
The gravity swoons.

Rotating fast,
Inevitably it,
Will come right around,
Maybe then I'll fit in.

Until then stay alone,
And wander and drift,
Floating above,
Looking down feeling grim.

Cause I know that it will,
Come around once again,
The gravity is sure,
To be there again.

And we'll all be together,
So happy and fit,
And look down at once,
And smile again.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Oblivious.

Oblivious to the world around
so blind unable to see.

So worried about yourself
you don't even recognize me.

Lost in your world of vanity and deceit.
If a ton of bricks fell on you,
It'd barely cause you to sneeze.

Your life is more important than others,
Your sneer burns through the lovers.

Emanating hate is what you do best.
Thinking you're above the rest.

Put down your phone and look up.
See the beautiful blue sky with the rest of us.

Feel the sun bask on you face.
Cause you never know your fate for gods sake.

Live your life and dedicate to others.
Yours is important too,
but love another.

So just stop for a second today,
And remember to seize the day.

To thank God for all he's made.
Without him,
There would be no today.

I will try if you will too.

And know this world is here for you.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Not right.

It's not that I went wrong,
It's just that you weren't right.

Untruthful ways of yours,
Keeping us in fights.

Listen to my story,
She'll tell you another.

I'd tell her I loved her,
She'd just say oh brother.

I knew from the start,
She had little heart,

But not til the end,
did I know it'd tear us apart.

Used to tell me we'd last forever,
Now I look at you and only think never.

Suddenly things do change,
But this time it was different.

Two lovers can fight the weather,
But only together can make it better.

So I was right when I say it wasn't me who went wrong.
It's just that you weren't right for my song.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Fine without you.

I don't cry for you anymore.
The tears won't fall.
I don't lie for you anymore.
Because I just can't take the fall.
I don't live for you anymore.
My pride is much too strong.
I don't wake for you anymore.
My life's finally moved on.
I don't dream of you anymore.
My thought's have become strong.
I don't look nice for you anymore.
Because I look nice without you.
I don't rely on you anymore
Because I am stronger now more than ever.
I don't wait for you anymore.
Because I'd have waited forever.
I don't think of who you're with anymore.
Because where I am I know is better.
I don't reach for you anymore.
Because it's too far for me.
I don't get cold without you anymore.
Because I am all the heat I need.
I don't do what you want me to do anymore,
Because I am standing on my own two feet.

Remember Me.

I am here for you.
Rest.
I am here for you.
Breathe.
I am here for you.
Smile.
I am here for you.
Laugh.
I am here for you.
Sing.
I am here for you.
Sigh.
I am here for you.
Cry.
I am here for you.
Lose.
I am here for you.
Forgive.
I am here for you.
Live.
I am here for you.
Love.
I am here for you.
Fall.
I am here for you.
Pray.
I am here for you.
Win.
I am here for you.
Remember me.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Tired eyes.

Tired eyes,
Don't cry no more,
I'll take your pain away.

I promise to,
give all that you,
want,
never to take away.

Tired eyes,
please rest those tears,
just save them for another day.

I told you that,
You don't need,
To cry ever again,
Not this way.

Tired eyes,
I look at you,
And can't help not to look away.

Because I see,
part of me in you,
at least a little,
in every way.

You remind me when,
I was young,
and could never get away.
From things I couldn't,
do or face,
not even until today.

Tired eyes,
god dammit you,
I thought I said stay away.
I'm here now,
so you can go,
and be happy every day.

Tired eyes,
don't look at me,
without knowing,
things are ok.

I will take you,
mend you,
heal you,
show life to you,
in good ways.

Tired eyes,
go ahead and sleep,
And rest your weary ways.

I promise to watch over,
protect and be there,
to assure you're safe each day.

Everything is fine.

Everything is fine.
He says to himself,
Alone the crackle of his phone.

Everything is fine,
12am,
Nobody is home,
Once again,
He finds himself,
Alone.

Everything is fine,
Computers off,
Night is black,
Still wandering on his own.

Everything is fine,
Sounds of the city,
Droning softly out below.
Still his house is not a home.

Everything is fine,
This sitting,
Waiting,
No one to save him,
No.

Everything is fine,
Repeats again,
Throughout his gloomy mind,
Sifting through what cannot change,
And fighting demons,
Far and old.

Everything is fine!
He cries,
The thought won't leave alone.
At once his hopes and all his fears,
Have finally come up from below.

Everything is fine,
Last time,
Cause why not,
Once more just never gets old.

Everything is fine.

He'll listen to,
These awful clicks,
And dream of homey homes.
Where candles line the windowpanes,
Flickering and dancing off the snow. Where children play,
And mommas bake,
All good things and stories told.

And fireplace smoke,
That drifts and floats,
Into ash from the wind that blows.

Everything is fine.
Today for now.
Who knows what tomorrow will hold.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Fear.

My heart is heavy.
My mind is full.
My thoughts won't stray.
Dark clouds,
So gray.

Full of doubt,
Full of FEAR,
Full of wanting,
Something not near.

Unknown paths,
No signs guide,
The windy road,
Will not give way.

What to do,
And what to say,
Those thoughts seem to cross,
My mind each day.

It's such a struggle,
To do what's right,
When all it seems they want,
To do is fight.

Going against,
Everything you say,
You begin to question,
Everything,
Always.

Do I really want this?
Or should I do that?
My heart tells me,
To stay on this track.

I know that it's,
A long,
Long road.
But I can't seem,
To find my way home.

So I'll just wander,
And do my own thing.
Follow my heart,
Even though the pain,
Just won't leave.

So I can stand,
At the top some day,
And say,
At least I've done,
My best today.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Realization.

I realized they were not my friends.
I realized,
They never were.

I realized I was the one to blame.
But also,
misinformed.

I realized that I could not trust anyone.
Not family,
Or anyone.

I realized that my love for them ran deep,
But that,
Was part of the problem.

I realized I couldn't fix everything.
And,
That I had no one.

But most importantly.
I realized.
That none of it mattered.
I had all I needed the whole time.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Need to get out.

Need to get out.
Can't take anymore.
The stress is too much.
About to implode.

My thoughts are not clear.
Too much thinking of that.
I can't think of just this.
The focus is blurred,
Just need to relax.

Need to get out,
This routines killing me.
Although not outside,
This pain runs so deep.

Need to get out,
Away from this place,
Was once all I wanted,
No need to explain.

Need to get out,
The walls closing in,
One more day of worries,
Shall kill me within.

Need to get out,
Please look for the smoke,
My s.o.s is burning,
Put down the remote.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Life.

Life is crazy.
Life is blind.
Life can surely,
Make you lose your mind.

Life is not,
For the weak,
It does not give in,
Or kiss your feet.

Life can give you,
All your dreams,
Then suddenly take them,
And destroy everything.

Life does not,
Have regrets,
It will not,
Pay your rent.

Life can promise,
You many things,
But for all we know,
It's just a dream.

Life is great,
Life is fine,
Just don't let,
It cross the line.

Take control,
Take a stand,
Don't let life,
Ruin your plans.

So stand tall,
Take a step,
One foot forward,
It's not in jest.

Life will always,
Be here to stay.
So don't you go,
and run away.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Without you.

They are gone.
Just need to move on.

Listen close.
They're much too far.

Squeeze me tight,
It's alright.

It's all too much,
this cold black night.

Without you,
I will surely fall today.

Without you,
I am lost.
Never found no.

Without you,
I am something that I can't even recognize.

Yeah,
Yeah,
I am.
I am.

Lost.

I hold this pillow tight.
Waiting for you to come back but I know it's a waste.

Of my time,
wishing bright,
sunshine rays will fill the night.

Oh no,
Oh god,
Why have you done this again to me?

Oh no,
Oh no,
These cold sheets can't live another day.

Without you.
I am lost,
Never found,
This world is dark and grey.

Without you,
I am nothing special without your certain ways.

Yeah,
Oh no.
I am nothing without your certain ways.

Oh no.
I am nothing.

Without you.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.
To the fakes.
The liars.
The cheats.
You can't hurt me anymore today.

Goodnight.
To the sadness.
The insecurity.
The questions.
You've brought today.

Goodnight.
To the thing I looked for but couldn't find.
Tomorrow's a new day for searching.

Goodnight.
To the one thing that will make me happy.
That i don't have.
I'll be better asleep.

Goodnight.
To the things we cannot change but will die trying to.
Leave us alone.
For the night.

Goonight.
Sleep.
Let me be until tomorrow.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The dark.

Stay dark forever.
Earth,
You keep your sun.


I'm fine with the cold.
Let the night stay with me.
So I may play in the moonbeams and starlight.


What's so good about it anyway.
All that sun and those sunshiny days?
No,
I don't think I'll come out today.


The mist feels good to me.
Letting the fog course through my veins.
This night now fills my days.

Take the warm and and put it deep.
In my past,
no good to me.

At least I can be,
The best I want to be.
Without the sun makes no difference to me.

So goodnight and I'll think of you.
Running through the sand a quarter to two.
Let the moonbeams hit your hair,
crack a smile if you dare.
And I'll be right next you.
The cold,
The dark,
and you.

Nothing else can stop us two.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Until the end.

I've left you before.
I'll leave you again.
These tears no longer,
are worth your sins.
It's always this,
or always that,
this cannot be,
all that we have.

I know we can't,
turn back the clock,
of what you've done,
those days are lost.
But I can't help,
but sit and wait,
when you tell me,
you'll be out that late.

These thoughts run fast,
so quick and then,
I catch myself and catch a grin.
Because I've just let you,
win again,
wasted my thoughts,
on where you've been.

This road has been,
so long today.
I sometimes wish,
I'd have left that day.
When I found out that you had gone,
and done what I had feared you'd done.

It helps I guess,
to know somedays,
That it's somewhat my fault or it's just fates way.
Of telling me,
I'm not meant to be,
in a relationship is all,
not you or me.

Reinforcing my beliefs I'll say,
that this story is all true today.
But I will surely just move on.
Like always I'll be there for another dawn.
But you know this,
too my friend.
That whatever you do,
You won't offend.

Because I'm the winner,
it's not the end.
You'll surely see,
my face again.

Clean rain.

Rain pouring down,
take down this old frown.
Taking the burdens,
and pressures off me.
Feels so damn good,
to be getting this clean.

Steady and slow,
you perfectly flow.
No end is in sight,
not even oh no.

Your coldness inspires me,
it lets me be free.
From lifes daily frets,
and horrible things.

Rain please crash down,
bring even more.
One storms not enough,
To wither these clothes.
I'd stand here forever,
and let you cleanse me.
Cause forever it'd take,
for me to be free.

Thank you rain,
you don't even know.
How good it just feels,
to sometimes be cold.

I hope you return,
sooner than later.
Because I'll need you.
My friend.
My creator.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Lust.

Lust is a fire,
a passion inside.
It burns and won't quit,
no let up in sight.
Burning so hot,
the meltpoint burns close.
Waving and weaning,
about to explode.
So hot is the flame,
cannot be explained.
Once lit it just burns,
and gets hotter,
each day.
This beast glows inside us,
won't ever go away.
It begs you,
pleads with you,
keep coming again.
My lust never runs out fuel,
oh god no.
It feeds on itself,
to burn even more.
Not only will it burn to the very bitter end,
It may even burn you then give you a grin.
Never satisfied Lust always needs more.
Won't ever regret it or show you the door.
I need it,
I want it,
I beg you within.
Stay burning forever,
Lust you are my friend.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Reflection.

I die just a little,
waiting for you to tell me,
how much you don't love me.

It's as if the reflection of
what I've done has cracked the
mirror of what I'm trying to be.

Tell me it's not me,
Tell me it's not you.
Tell me it's ok.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Dying day.

I don't even know what I miss anymore
but I'm looking for it every single day.

What's left of what I thought I was
left me recently I'll say.

The days and nights all have gone so fast.
I wish they could just slow down.

Listen to my thoughts for once.
Instead of them fading in the dust.

I'm chasing something that's for sure.
But what it is I really don't know.

Because when I get home and sit down and think,
these words come from my soul.

And more than that the questions never stop.
Of what I'm looking for.

This life is so dark and deep.
For all us desolate souls.

Keep on moving is all we know.
We'll find ourselves I know someday.

Or maybe not and just keep chasing.
Our dreams until our dying day.

Go back.

When everythings right it feels like it's wrong.
The days and the nights so soon to be gone.

I long for the sense of what it is that I feel.
But now that it's here I don't want to be near.

Give me it back the feeling that is gone.
Because I just cannot move forward too long.

Without the tension that's deep in my brain.
My life seems to waiver, bend to regain.

Holding on to the feelings I've held on so long.
To lose them would be unbelievably so wrong.

Because they're what drive me every waking day.
The sadness, the emptiness, it fuels me most days.

To feel at ease is not what I want.
Because it does me no good the comfort I want.

See I've gotten to a place where we all want to be.
And now that I'm here I just want to please leave.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Waiting.

You really though I'd wait forever?
Even a fool would know better.

To sit and wait just wasting time.
While you "think" I'll be just fine.

Waiting for you only hurts my heart.
Because I know we soon will part.

It's not like we already both don't know.
But our love just keeps holding on.
Never letting go.

Waiting for you the time stands still.
Who knows what the future holds.

It's just too bad that you don't see.
The man underneath those layers of me.

Take the time to peel one back.
I promise you this.
You'll never go back.

So I'll sit and wait.
Think and contemplate.

Maybe sing a song.
Write a rhyme or two.

And hope this wait.
Will end real soon.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Love everyone.

My god.
This world is such a sad place.
And the people wonder.
Why such a long face?
So simple to see.
And deafening to hear.
Yet nobody will stop.
And spread some good cheer.
I look through these blinds.
To find some sunlight.
But it never comes.
Fog fills the twilight.
I just want them all.
To know what I know.
And smile for once.
And just say hello.
Not turning your back.
On those who need you.
A handshake at that.
I promise they'll thank you.
The point of this all.
Is to think of them first.
The ones who you love.
And the ones that you don't.
Love all people.
While we still can.
Better sooner than later.
And never look back.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Song for two.

A thousand dreams of you fill my mind.
Of the days and nights that you were mine.
Just you and me no thoughts or cares.
At times it felt like we were walking on air.
A careless breeze on the oceanside.
You and me were one as time passed by.
This could go on forever you always said.
As you looked me in the eye I felt your stare.
Pierce me deep like a severed wound.
You loved me as much as I loved you.
I can't remember a single day.
That I didn't reach out to you to touch your face.
And pull you closer till it touched mine.
And whisper in your ear.
Please always be mine.
Because as bad as this may sound.
I knew one day you would not be around.
And I'd be sitting here typing away.
Mourning your memory with every passing day.
I guess that what I'm trying to say.
Is you'll never know how much I am missing you each day.
I know that you're around maybe looking down.
Cause even now I feel you.
You're presence resounds.
And I know that soon one day.
The music will start up again to play.
The sweet sounds that we once knew.
Just me and you.
A song for two.

Alone.

I'm just alone like the rest of the world.
Trapped in a cycle I can't escape.

Look to the sky for answers that aren't even there.
Who knows how much longer i can bear.

This sadness that lives so deep inside.
Many times I've just wished I could die.

Cause this life is too hard for one to take.
Our lost dreams and lost love are almost too much for god's sake.

The void that's inside me is one that cannot be explained.
By two or three lines, not even ten will the pain.

Cause losing what you never got to know.
Would kill even the strongest person I've ever known.

Another day of ups and downs has come and gone.
I pray that tomorrow I'll see another dawn.

Because although this life is full of misery.
I know that one day it'll give all it's got to offer me.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Give love a try.

People say,
give love a try.
I'd assume,
to just let it pass by.

Been there,
done that.
It's all just the same.
Taking it for granted,
always they're to blame.

Of course,
you've done,
nothing wrong at all.
Cause that person in question,
was just a friend after all.

But you and I both know,
that just isn't the case.
Your lying and cheating,
is a slap in the face.

To not only me,
but also you,
and your family and friends.
Your actions disgrace,
the closest of them.

So when people tell me,
to give love a try.
I tell them,
what for?

To just say goodbye?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Love them and leave.

Love and leave,
she once said to me.

It's too hard to please,
down on hand and knee.

Love and leave,
she cries out to me.
For loving forever only ends up in misery.

Love and leave,
two steps make it three.
For 4 would be too much,
and one does not believe.

Love and leave,
she'll never just see.
The love that he gives her,
no never I see.

Love and leave,
she once said to me,
that being with one is like one of her worst dreams.

Love them and leave,
is that right you think?
To fool him and lead him and break his heart, damn
girl,
that's mean.

Love them and leave,
she'll never find me.
No god no,
I'll never just love them and leave.

Listen.

Listen to me when I tell you I love you.
I'll wait forever for you.
Time stops still when I'm with you.
And can't slow down enough to make it last.

All I ask is for you to listen to me when I tell you I love you.
Give me the time of day,
Maybe a minute, a second even of every day.
To let you let you know you're all I need and want.
See these tears streaming down my face?
Love lives in them,
asking for you to listen.

All I ask is for you to listen to me when I tell you I love you.
I'll listen to you.
Listen to your problems, fears, and insecurities.
Make your wrongs feel right,
your skies look bright,
and heart full tonight.

All I ask is for you to listen to me when I tell you I love you.
I promise you I'll make everything alright.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Crash down.

Alone every day
every second of every day is not enough.

All the time's slipped away
every moment and every day is crashing down.
Just crashing down.

So crash down with me
So I'm not all alone in this place.
In this place.
This place frightens me
with all of it's inadequacies
not good enough.
No not good enough.
So crash down with me.

What would you do
if I told you that I needed you.
Yes
I needed you.
To take care of me and listen instead of for once telling me.
That I wasn't good enough.
No not good enough.

So crash down with me
So I'm not all alone in this place.
In this place.
This place frightens me
with all of it's inadequacies
not good enough.
No not good enough.
So crash down with me.

I know that it's scary out there.
But sometimes you just gotta care.
Put up the fight and I promise you just might get in.
Might get in.

So crash down with me
So I'm not all alone in this place.
In this place.
This place frightens me
with all of it's inadequacies
not good enough.
No not good enough.
So crash down with me.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Rush.

The night grew dark from the twilight dusk.
layin down to sleep, was the quiet hush.
another day has passed,
another in the dust.
the days seem to flow together like a tidal rush.

Trying to slow down but no end is in sight.
i try to keep the time but my eyes are shut so tight.
hiding from what's real trying to keep the frantic pace.

The feeling that I get always seems to feel this way.
that the night's and the days may forever fade away.
unless something is done and the time should go slow my way.
my life will be fulfilled and I'll know all I need to know.

Until then I'll just stay in the race.
and work and work and work until I'm all red in the face.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Be bold.

Oh damn,
there I go I've done it again.
Jumped into love,
it's in her hands.

Given too much to fast ya know.
I think we've barely even said hello.

All I want to do is run,
run with you into the sun.
And love you deep,
so into you.
And never ever be apart from you.

Jump in with me, this deep deep pit.
And scream as loud as you can or will.
And let the wind flow through your hair.
Because life is about the dare.

Be quick to love,
and quick to hold.
Your love awaits,
if you are bold.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

New ways.

My oh my,
could you have imagined this?
To be a part of something like this?
Such a big,
amazing thing.
Has knocked and knocked time to begin.

Open the book and turn the page.
The life you've begged for,
new chapter awaits.

Look out and see,
those crashing waves.
And say goodbye,
to your old ways.

Burn and burn and burn them down,
to live the way,
that you're supposed to.
Not even this,
thick pesky fog,
could deter you,
no way at all.

So run real fast,
towards your goals,
cause you've arrived,
and you didn't even know.

Another year.

A year has passed,
has come and gone,
so quick like that,
the time moves on.

Moving forward,
it's what we do,
looking back,
that just won't do.

So much has happened,
in small a time,
or is it small,
unless your blind.

Three sixty five,
a year has passed,
to just look back,
is such a task.

Asking why,
we did the things,
only to just sigh,
and smile and sing.

And for once be happy,
for all we do,
look to the sky,
and say thank you.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Life without you.

My life without you means nothing.
It hurts me to the core.
To think of what we had,
and know what we had learned.

My life has forever changed,
now that you are gone.
I used to wake and think,
my god,
this is the life.

My life now has no meaning,
an end never to begin.
See without you in it,
I've already died within.

My life has crashed and burned,
like a jetliner carrying,
a million fireworks.
Each of them containing,
a portion of my heart,
that simply cannot function,
without your sweet 3 words.

My life has now stopped still,
since the last day I saw you.
The only thing that's left,
is for me,
to ultimately join you.

Run with me.

Run.
Run away with me.

Love is such,
a crazy, crazy thing.

Leave it all behind,
never to return.

And follow all the signs,
on the long and windy road.

Running so damn fast,
we haven't had a chance,

to even take one glance back,
to see what we once had.

Because it doesn't matter,
we've run so far away.

Farther than tomorrow,
forever and a day.

Anxiety demon.

This anxiety is a demon,
It'll kill you in the night.
Like a vagrant waiting on the
subway,
it'll sneak up on you with a knife.

Waiting and lurking,
In the shadows of the night,
Just in the waning moonlight,
It'll come after you with all its might.

Slowly but surely,
You'll wish you weren't there.
Until all at once,
You'll feel it in every hair.

Pulsing in your veins,
This damned thief in the night,
Has finally begun to kill,
Everything in its sight.

Make sure you hold on,
Oh so very tight,
For the one to finally catch you,
Is this thief in the cold black night.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Lost love map.

You live through them and I don't know why,
when everything you want,
is in front of your eyes.

Always wanting,
something more,
your life is amounting,
to such a bore.

Basing nonsense of who has that,
instead of taking,
the love lost map.

Of a road,
that leads nowhere,
I'm telling you babe,
there's nothing there.

Don't live through them,
cause you'll look back,
and start to cry,
and say,
well that is that.

When you could have,
had all you've known,
was love to be,
in those eyes you've owned.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Love's not me.

Love is painful,
love is blind.
Love can easily,
destroy your mind.
You must not let,
it kill or burn,
it's far too easy,
for you to learn.

That it is all,
that there is.
In this life,
that we live in.

Love is part,
of a world disdained,
by grief,
and sorrow,
memories pained.

But I won't let,
it destroy me,
no i won't let,
love pleasure me.

I will fight it,
until the end.
Me and love,
no we're not friends.

Burn away.

I look into the night to pray to God,
but the fog won't let me get through.
Dear god, on this foggy night,
I ask for strength to fight....

My mind's grown weak,
I regret to say,
that I've lost sight....

Of what is true,
what is me,
what's to your delight...
I can't see through the fog rolling in,
it's much too thick...

I can't even tell,
what time it is...
Or where I am,
or what to do...
The fog's just to dense,
I can't undo...

Or erase those things I've done...
But I know you can,
after all,
you are the son.

So let it burn,
burn away....
So I can see,
another day...
And I promise to,
do my best,
make you proud,
and pass your test.

If it wasn't for you.

If it wasn't for you I don't know where I'd be.
On second thought,
to think of where I'd be would be an amazing sight.
Because you wouldn't believe it was me.

If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be the same person,
who you knew I could be.
Maybe I'd be dead,
or fighting for my life.
Or maybe sitting on the side of the road,
looking into the night.

If it wasn't for you I don't know where I'd be.
Loveless, helpless, and thoughtless.
For it was you who gave me love.
You who gave me hope.
You who gave me strength.
And you who gave me the courage,
to push harder when I thought I'd given my all.

Thank you.
LORD.
Because if it wasn't for you,
I wouldn't be here.

Don't stop.

If you're feelin' it,
just roll with it...

Don't make it stop,
babe I want you on top...

Close your eyes,
and just ease your mind...

So I can take care of you tonight,
make love to you and make everything right.

You know how long we've been waiting,
I'm so glad that tonight...

We've given it another shot,
what was once just a try,
that all ends tonight...

So just roll with it this night,
and whatever you wanna call it,
it makes me feel alright.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

My baby.

My baby.
Oh kiss me so...
Make me fall to sleep you know.

Just how to touch,
and cradle me...
When I need you,
so perfect it will be...

The way that you,
touch my head,
could melt a thousand,
Earth's cores I said.

So kiss me right,
by candlelight,
and I will hold you,
this warm summer night.

Play with your hair,
and make you smile.
My god my heart,
feel's like it just ran 10 miles.

My baby please tell me,
what you'd like tonight,
let's be...

Spontaneous,
and book a flight.
To Paris, or London, or whereever your heart delights...

Because it doesn't matter,
as long as you are there...
My baby and me,
our love's affair.

Communicate.

Tell me this.
Tell me that.

Sometimes I want you to tell me that.
That it hurts.
When you say this.
I never thought,
it made you pissed.

Tell me now,
or never more,
because I'd never,
known,
you were so bored.

I know that you once told me that,
you cared for me,
and I had your back.

But I can't come,
running to your door,
unless you call,
ain't that what our cells are for?

So talk me,
let's talk it out.
I can't continue,
to wait and shout.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Life.

I've stopped thinking about when,
and learned to enjoy now.

Life is about love,
happiness will be found.

What is faraway,
can live another day.

But family and friends,
are always here to stay.

You think you have the right to everything all at once.

But let me tell you this,
life's all about those minutes,
working those late shifts.

Because you will truly remember,
when you're looking back,
laugh a little laugh,
and say to yourself...

how the hell did I do all that.

Stars.

He seeks solace in the stars.
Wish and pray and hope on the stars to guide his way.
Driving through the canyons,
young and wild and free they would eventually lead his way.

To a place he never thought,
would ever cross his path.

He seeks solace in the stars.
A shooting star would be so nice.
To warm a heart,
that's oh so cold as ice.
A burning star streaking in the night is all he asks,
to cure his mind from this fright at last.

He seeks solace in the stars,
to erase memories from his past,
ones he thought that would not last.
Of a childhood so shining bright,
the stars would even delight.

He seeks solace in the stars,
because he knows that they'll always last.
From Newbury to Phoenix,
they went so fast.
To this day where so much has changed,
but not,
because the stars remain.

He seeks solace in the stars,
to cure his broken heart.
To mend to brace,
to cure his loves he no longer waits.
They'll soon shine again,
to love not hate.

He seeks solace in the stars.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It's fine.

What you think is crazy,
I think is fine.
Sometimes I just think,
the world must be blind.


How can they not,
see what I do.
Maybe they need,
a day in my shoes.

So misunderstood,
head down in my hood,
each step that I take,
my mood's cut into two.

One that understands,
and says give them a chance.
The others say fuck em,
and leave with a glance.

Of hate in your eye,
for them to see you.
And not always worry,
who cares about you.

These questions come to,
my mind everyday.
Yet I cannot say,
what's healthy these days.

I kinda give up,
on trying to try,
and just hope everyday,
that things will be fine.

Waking up.

Sometimes I have to wake myself up,
from looking at myself and realizing I don't know what I'm doing.

My head was here,
but my mind was floating away.
Up in the clouds,
in a swirl of white and blue wisps that never go away.

Sometimes I wake myself,
praying that everything will be ok.
But not knowing what is I'm doing.

Somtimes I wake myself,
from feeling too good,
so that I can feel bad and have some inspiration.

Sometimes I wake myself,
to tell myself I didn't do what I was supposed to,
but realize it's fine and that I may be going crazy.

Sometimes I wake wake myself,
from imagining what could have been or what could've been done,
but just accept that life is perfect as it is and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Sometimes I wake myself,
but wish I was still asleep,
because death may be better than constantly waking up.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

With me.

Leave me a whisper,
just don't take too long.
Tell me you love me,
by the words of this song.

Leave me right now,
but don't leave me forever.
I'll be your friend,
if you can be clever.

Love me tonight,
just don't say a word.
Feed me a lullaby,
so sweet are those words.

Swirling inside me,
your memories lay.
Locked up forever,
to come back one day.

I love how you tell me,
that we'll be just fine.
To call every hour,
and know that your mine.

Once more just tell me,
what I want to hear.
And I'll love you darlin,
and hold you so near.

What is it.

When you have it,
you don't want it.

When you don't have it,
you need it.

When you have it,
nothing can break it.

When you don't have it,
you'll break anything for it.

When you have it,
you have endless smiles.

When you don't have it,
The smiles have ended.

When you have it,
tears are wine and you swim in them.

When you don't have it,
the tears feel like they're drowning you.

It can conrol you.
It can frighten you.
It can deceive you.
It can make you.

But it,
is beautiful bliss.
It is me and in all of us.
It will live on through eternity.
It is the reason to go on living.
It is life.

Living.

And when you get it you'll understand,
that everything you used to think was true,
was not.

That everything you thought you knew,
you didn't.

That everything you used to love,
you've learned to hate.

The flood of life that used to create the joy and happiness,
is replaced by a sputtering endless question.

Strength and hope,
become fear.

Feelings of confidence and power,
are whittled to away to brittle sticks that crack in the wind.

It's not that it's your fault,
but it's the way it's meant to be.
See it's what you need to gain strength.

To build back what was once lost.
To regain your stride and finish your race.

To fight harder,
Get stronger,
Be tougher than you were before you lost it.

That,
that is what you call living.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Clock.

The clock is ticking she says to me,
on what it is you're supposed to be.
A long, long, long time ago,
you should've have done,
what you were told.

But I can't tell her,
the mistakes I made.
Because you see,
they weren't mistakes.

I had to grow in strength,
then go.
To places where,
I didn't want to go.

In order to,
be a man,
like dad once told me,
"I know you can".

And so I did,
though the clocks now old,
make it through,
some bitter cold.

But now I'm left with what's too late,
a life that I just somewhat hate.
Because she says the stories told,
can't change the clock,
the hands don't hold.

So I've progressed,
but been pushed back,
I wish the time,
would freeze it's tracks.

So that I could,
catch up to it,
and live to be a happy kid.

Tonight.

I need some lovin' tonite.
Hold my hand,
Kiss me,
Let me know it will be alright.

Slip me on and wear me for the night.
I'll cover you if you cover me,
so much for waiting alright.

Drape me over your bare skin,
to cling and cling forever holding you tight.
I'm not going anywhere,
except maybe the bedroom,
living room,
or out tonight.

Give me some lovin,
damn I need you so bad,
I can't even fight.
This feeling that's got me,
it's out of sight.

So hold me closer,
and whisper to me,
all those things,
you'll do to me.

And make it count,
can't fight the fight,
of letting go,
cause' it just ain't right.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Our forever song.

I'm writing you a song.
A song that will last forever.
One that blows through the trees,
and wakes up the leaves.

Rustles around and around,
and just when you're feelin' down,
Buzzes around your head and can
turn around your frown.

My forever song to you will always
be there.
No need to hit repeat, pause, or skip,
because it is the sweetest melody you've ever heard.

Melting your heart with every word,
You'll want to stop what you're doing
and dance and dance,
lingering in a twirl.

And when we're old and danced
together to our forever song,
you'll remember every word and
be able to sing along.

So when I'm gone,
Our forever song,
Will chase away your blues.
And know,
that I'm not that far...

I love you.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Your friends.

Your friends are not my friends she once said.
To think and think that there was some truth in a word she said.

Was not impossible to believe at the time.
Cause all she cared about was hers not mine.

I fell into a trap that they
Had set for me with love and play.

Only to fall into the pit.
The snare had caught me hanging with.

My heart opened to the open air,
and bleeding out so quickly bare.

For I had given it to them,
with open arms innocence was left.

But I will get the last word,
because my plan was always for me,
you see.

Just think while you were laughing there,
I was right behind the stairs.

Listening to everything you said.
And all the backstabbing words so cruely unfair.

But it's ok,
because I know.

That now you're living in your own hell you've grown.
From all the shit that you've said and done,
your life is now in ruins hun.

And I am fine,
and doing great.
A bright future,
graces my plate.

So I'll laugh now.
And can't wait to,
see the skies of my future,
such a nice shade of blue.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Envy

I wish I could say that it wasn't true.
That I envy you,
And what you have is not true.
Much better at this,
even better at that.
No way I could match,
the things that you have.
Even the friends,
you refuse to hold close,
are better than what,
Us poor people know.

But you do not see,
what others perceive,
as living the dream.

Instead you mock it,
the life that you live.
And spit on the ground,
of those who keep it.

Close to their hearts,
and even their souls.
And pray of those things,
we'd lose our life for.

I hope that one day,
you'll finally learn.
That what you have,
cannot be relearned.
For once it is gone,
it'll haunt your dark dreams.
And gnaw at your conscience,
your hopes and your dreams.

For all that you had,
and all that you've learned.
Won't follow you to,
those pearly white doors.

So hold up your head,
and snap out of it.
Cause shit could get bad,
before you get in.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

What's the hurry?

What's the hurry?
What's the rush?

The race to love that is,
is surely bust.

Full of all these lies and thoughts,
of what one should and should not touch.

I can't believe,
there's so much hype.

In something that,
is nothing like.

Anything close to what is real,
and what is not what one can feel.

What's the rush?
To prove one's fate?
Of something that's not give and take.

To hurry up and wait is just,
a waste to me,
I would not touch.

You haven't told me,
what your answer is.
To this false love,
teenagers live.

But not just teens,
who say "I do".
But moms and dads,
and brother's too.

So what's the rush,
at such an age,
where one may need,
their mother's gauge.

On what is right,
and what is wrong.

I thought you knew
what you were gettting into.

Maybe you should think,
just twice or more.

Of what you do,
when they're at the door.

Asking you to give not take.
A love you may,
just truly hate.

Forgotten love.

I forgot about you.
I forgot how good you smelled.
How good you felt.

I forgot about you and how much you made laugh.
How much you made me smile.
I forgot how much I loved to be with you all hours of the day and how nothing could ever come between us.

I forgot how much you loved me and how you would do anything to protect me.
I forgot about all those things, I regret to say.
My heart's turned cold and dark,
Like black oil,
Seeping from the ground.

Everything forgotten has made me into a frigid being,
Tormented by love lost not to be found.
I forgot that feeling.
Of not being loved until now.

Forgotten how much it hurts to be alone with no sense of love or being loved.
The cold,
dark,
oily canvas of forgotten love will haunt me to my grave.

Forget it love.

Because I have.

Another fight.

Ear plugs in,
shut out the light.
Please be quiet,
don't wanna fight.
About the kitchen,
about the clothes,
I left in my room,
or on the floor.

Another dish,
another that,
thank god for me,
who's cleaned and kept.
This house in order,
just long enough,
to fend off all,
the cluttered stuff.

The house is fine,
but not quite warm.
A cold chill,
comes through the door.

And leaves me with,
an empty stare,
of something that,
was usually there.

You see this house is not,
a home.
It cannot be,
without a throne.
A throne that sits with cobwebs she,
forgot to clean,
how could this be?

So many years have come to pass,
that I can still,
remember that.
The days he would,
come through that door.
And yell his name,
even so poor.

But it's all gone,
and it's fine for me,
because I know,
what she can't see.

And further more,
she never will,
know just how much,
he watches this.

And later on,
that judgment day,
he'll ask and say,
what happened babe?

I thought I asked for you to love,
with all your heart,
to give up all,
what we once loved.
And live for them,
so they might see.
The joy in what,
this life could be.

I know this is,
so hard for you.
But believe me you,
my heart's died too.

But when I get to hold you again,
it will be,
much different.
For finally,
we'll come again,
and have a family,
once again.

To never cry,
or hurt or bleed.
Just them and you,
the lord and me.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The moon.

Moonlight.
You shine so bright.
Not yesterday,
only tonight.

So bright the light on this dark night.
I can still see you shine through,
and it's not even midnight.

The barking dog will hush that's right.
Your beams shall invade his sight.
And shine your light on all of us.
Down here to bring your contenance.

Guidance and your loving care,
moon please help,
we know you care.
We'll celebrate your gravity,
and thank you for,
the light to see.

So thank you in advance dear moon,
for you know,
we love you too.
And we shall meet,
so soon again.
You me and this,
dark night we'll share.

Not enough.

Not enough money,
not enough time.
I feel as though,
I'm always running blind.

Not enough love,
not enough slack,
Sometimes I too need,
a pat on the back.

Running the race,
no time to turn back,
sometimes the anxiety,
will cause an attack.

Attack on you,
attack on a friend,
attack on all,
who's called me a friend.

I think I know now,
just what it will take,
to make what I call,
this life,
it's at stake.

I cannot blame them,
I cannot blame me,
the time has come now,
stand up and be free.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Breathe in deep.

I breathe in deep so I can take it all in.
The different colors of your light.
The sweet melodies of your song.
Put on repeat for me to enjoy.

I breath in deep so that I can have you with me.
And remember what it felt like.
Your breath on mine.
Your body on mine,
So good so right.

I breathe in deep to taste your lips again.
To put my forehead on yours and whisper those words,
once again.
Over,
and over.

I breathe in deep so I can know you think of me.
And hope that you're breathing deep too.

Monday, June 21, 2010

What I hate.

What's real.
What's fake.
I cannot say.

It's junk,
It's smut,
it's all I hate.

More trash,
More lies,
More pain and death.
Like destruction,
of this tv set.

Fire it up,
burn it down.
Who gives a shit,
it's all in vain,
these cuss and swears.

I won't miss,
what I hate.
What seeps will swim,
please let it drown.

The fascade we see will end tonight.
Off my roof,
into the night.

Struggle.

So this is what they call it huh.
Life's struggle,
like death,
just won't give up.
It's got the best all day,
wrapped up,
in shit,
they cannot say.
Or fight,
get pissed.
We have to stay positive they say,
what the fuck do they know,
anyway?
Who are the they,
who how, what may.
This life is ours to take.
Cliche?
It's all a lie you see.
To make some money,
off the weak.
But I won't quit,
I know better know,
that lifes worth living,
too good to bow.
And call it quits,
just like the rest.
Of those poor schmucks,
we've laid to rest.
So don't give up,
go get some rest.
Tomorrow will be,
just another test.

Love's Loneliness.

No one will ever know.
These things I tell you,
oh please,
god no.
Because you see,
they cannot know.
What they cannot see,
unless they go.
I'll try to tell you without a sigh,
but from those who know me,
that's just a lie.
But it's me and that is just what I say,
most people may just not get it ok.
I cannot cry,
I cannot weep,
I'd like to try but fail,
just sleep.
I want to tell you,
all that I've heard.
But stumble when it comes to those damn words.
I know it sounds so familiar when the words I love you,
are always there.
But lonliness has part of me,
engulfed in love,
you see?
Its fantasy gets me,
through desolate times.
So I can sit,
and toy and rhyme.
And smile and laugh through the suns bright glare.
Just float and type,
pretend I'm there.

Love flicker.

I'm sitting all alone again.
This flame it flickers,
it's warm,
just sad.
Cannot believe that you're not here.
I'm sick of this,
you not just near.
Replaying actions,
unjust words were said.
You could have told the truth,
but fed.
Me lies of what once was,
our love of truth and hope as one.
But now I sit alone and cry.
Just wishing you were by my side.
I'll count the sheep and maybe just might,
til I fall asleep,
by the firelight.
Of this damn candle that is near,
it's flame is dancing,
dancing dear.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Faith & Trust

If you don't believe anyone,
you can never trust yourself.
If you can't trust yourself,

you can never have faith in yourself or anyone.
If you never have faith in yourself or anyone,
you can't possibly have faith in trust.

So trust yourself,
give others the benefit of the doubt for the most part,
and know that no one will be perfect,
but have faith that they will at least do their best.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I'd rather.

I'd rather sit and listen to you sing.
Then go to work today.
I'd rather laugh and smile and play.
Than miss a kiss from your sweet lips anyday.
I'd rather walk on glass,
Or fight the blasts,
and walk 18 billion miles
than not see you at all today.

I'd rather walk with you down the street,
then curl up in a ball and miss you everyday.
I'd rather hold your head close,
and kiss your cheek,
and tickle your toes,
then have you away from today.
I don't think you'll ever know,
how much you are apart of me.
Cause' every single,
living day with you,
Is like a day in heaven,
no work,
all play.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Love clock.

It starts today,
but won't end tomorrow.
I wish you only knew,
this pain & deep sudden sorrow.
Sometimes it stings.
Most time,
it burns.
Like hot coals,
or ash,
pain cuts,
so we must learn.
The thing that heals,
just mind unwind.
The time,
the ticks,
the ties that bind.
But please,
don't watch the clock,
unfurl.
That time heals all,
but will not ever,
nor change.
Our loves memory,
so deeply rooted,
engrained.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Rooftop view

Up here from the rooftop,
the view is breathtaking.
The setting sun dimly casting it's rays over the pale white caps of the frigid Pacific.
I stand to call for you,
but there is no answer.
So you can also enjoy the view with me.
Now of the city lights,
Shining their bright reflection over the darkness.
I call your name louder,
but still no response.
I shout and I scream it,
What a horrible dream.
To stand up here alone,
On such a time as these.
Where all one wants is a touch, or even a squeeze.
A drop, shot, or gallon of love would be nice.
To share this view alone, is cold, colder than ice.
So think as you will,
when you're dreaming your dream.
And you better shout loudly,
Because there is no love in a dream.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Part of you.

I've collected so many bits and pieces
Sometimes it's so random the ways that they remind me of you.

A photograph here or there,
Someones smile or laugh, out of nowhere.

A face that looks familiar,
or even the smell of anothers hair reminds me of what I loved about you.

The memories are so faded now.
Once engrained,
they fail me now.

To provide an accurate picture of what it was,
that made us partners in crime,
me, you, and the sun.

Maybe it was the long drives we used to take.
Or working together and partying from dawn til dusk, til late.

At least I have those memories near.
Although the others are so far, not clear.

I still hold on to the little I have.
In hopes that you will find your path back.

To what was once a pure loves dream.
You, me, the sun, the sand, the sea.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

I wasn't for you.

My thoughts run in circles.
For the eight billionth time.
On what I could have done different.
In order to have changed your mind.
I should have done this,
or should have done that.
I could have said this
or could have said that.
But really c'mon I'd be kidding,
If I didn't know it was just a matter of time.
I knew from the beginning,
that it wasn't sincere.
I knew from the beginning,
that I just wanted you near.
Someone to hold,
on those cold nights alone.
Someone to listen,
instead of wandering home.
An empty house cuts deep like a knife,
hell I think it's even worse,
than living a solitude life.
So at least I can sit here,
and be honest with you.
And tell you the truth,
I knew I wasn't for you.
The question still lingers,
for longer forever unanswered and remains,
Why, why did you do it then, if you knew it'd just cause pain?
I guess you can say,
I thought I'd just try,
to be me for me this time,
Who knows anything anymore,
at least I tried.

Good evening.

Good evening, good night.
Where's all the love gone?
Too much fighting and war and not enough love.
The gluttons and beasts and evil in this world,
Have taken ahold to never let go.
Good evening, good night.
Where's all the love gone?
Please god, help to end these miserable times.
Where women and children,
are even being sent to front lines.
Good evening, good night.
Where's all the love gone.
We try to contribute,
to give more and more each time.
But it's not enough to help,
we're needed more each time.
A child cries for help,
too many tears, and not enough time.
Good evening good night.
Where's all the love gone?
Yes, life will go on,
but as long as we try,
to better people,
we'll be just fine.
Good evening, good night.
Where's all the love gone.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Thank you.

I've found strength in you lord. but I struggle everyday.
I've been to the bottom of the Earth. and I've been to the top.
But you've always guided my way.
Through all the bad times there still has been much more good.
Thanks to you and all your lifes lessons, I've finally found my way.
I've learned that you can't always rely on others because our true strength comes from within. That when we ask, "I don't know if I can do this", that you will help us push through with all your strength.
Lord you are the reason I'm alive and I thank you every single day.
I'm excited to see what life may bring me, and even happier to know you'll be with me every step of the way...

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Blind fight.

It's true when they say that love is blind.
It's light is so bright it cuts your sight.

So wrong at times,
The timing is never right.

It sneaks up on you like the flu one day.
And knocks you out cold, with no punches though.

I think I'm crazy at times for thinking that I'm right.
When she says "love is touching souls, and surely you've touched mine".

Because I know that when love blinds me again one day,
I definitely won't be putting up a fight.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Song for you.

Strum your guitar for me.
The way you do so slow and sweet.
Don't hold back let it all come out.
The emotion and tears and fears
and doubts.
Can you feel it now?
Just kiss me right.
I'll be here,
Don't worry our loves so strong.
No need to fight.
I know we'll be together forever and a day.
Just like we said on the boat on the lake that hot, summer day.
Let's just lay here all damn night,
and after your song is done,
Breathe each other in and watch the rising sun...

Monday, May 24, 2010

Sweet dreams.

Goodnight.
Good sleep.
Sweet dreams to you.
I hope and pray, that you really do.
Rest your head now and fall asleep.
And night will soon become a dream.
A dream where we will never get old.
A dream where kissing you, lasts into the next world.
The world where we, can paint our own dream.
From spring blossoms, and neverending fields of green.
This night has turned out, to be just right.
Look now, it's turning light.
Arise and open your eyes to see.
Me next to you,
I told you this dream would be sweet.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Silent scream.

Sometimes silence is golden.
Sometimes it's sweet.
Sometimes it may be,
What you just need.
To find inner peace,
All that just might be.
Is a little silence,
seems ordinary to me.
But as I sit,
and time flies by.
The silence, becomes far much to bear. I cannot lie.
See I was brought up to think,
that silence meant thou shalt not speak.
But as days go by,
I'm beginning to think,
This silence we all long for,
is more like a scream.

Rainy May Day.

Rain, rain, rain.
You're such a welcome sight on days like this.
I love how you sneak up on us.
Like a thief in the night,
you slowly tiptoe your way here until you're overhead
and it's too late.
Yes, too late, but you're presence is welcome today.
Welcome to pour down in a torrential manner if you'd like.
Pour down all you want or your heart desires.
Washing away my blues.
Washing away my insecurities, and fears that come on a Monday like today.
Yes,
your waters are indeed welcome today.
You bring peace into a day that could have driven a sane person insane.
Or bring a balanced person off their rocker.
The sound of you on my windowpane soothes me and brings with it
hope for renewal.
So wash it all away rain, on this day, you are welcome.
I feel better already.

Friday, May 14, 2010

The fog.

The night of creativity creeps upon him
like a fog rolling in slowly until it's so thick you breathe it in.
Deep,
into your lungs
passing through your veins til it envelops your mind
and you become one.
Thick fog take over my body and mind
and take me away with you.
Take me with you over the ocean
So I can be free to float away over the cold waters
that drift and wane under the bright moonbeams that glisten off the
whitecaps in the middle of nowhere.
Take me with you to pass over the ebb and flow of your mysterious wonder
where I wanna be.
Away where the grass is greener and side is clearer than the oil thick ash air that I am breathing.
Take me away please until you burn off into the sun of the pure air on the other side.
Where it's warm and I can breathe again.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Burning Love

Kiss me with your eyes
closed you fool.
So I can open mine
to see your lips
on mine.
So I can see your
eyes shut tight and know
that you love me as much
as I love you.
Keep your body pressed tight against
mine,
so I can feel your heart
race and know that you're feeling
the same way I do.
Open your eyes now,
so we can look into each others eyes.
Burning.
And feel the warmth of a burning love
that needs no words.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Let Go.

let go.
let go from everything.
let go from what you think,
you want or what you don't want,
because how can you really know whether or not you want either.
let go and hear the music.
let go and let it touch your soul, like a shock to your brain from the cold water when it hits your face.
let go baby and just squeeze the hell out of me
and tell me how much you love me with those big beatiful eyes.
let go,
look up and show me that beautiful smile of yours.
everything will be fine now.
let go.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Dream.

My eyes and mind are open tonight.
To what is real and true.
I never thought that it would ever come to this.
Of what I'm about to say to you.

That memories and photographs cannot bring back.
That thoughts of you can't even pass.
That storms and floods couldn't even wash away.
The days and nights of yesterday.

I ache everyday to know you've passed.
Into a life to not come back.
But for what it's worth,
Everything I ever said to you was all true.

So when I sleep tonight I'll dream a dream,
And you'll be there,
Standing next to me.
And I'll be able to say at last.
Damn Dad, stay, don't go so fast.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Yours and ours.

You inspire me.
Your character.
Your talent.
Your mind.
Your heart.
Your warmth,
and voice soothe
my mind.
Come out and play.
Get out from under
the cold and constricting
rock you're under and be with me,
instead.
I know you'll be comfortable here.
OUR character,
OUR talent,
OUR minds,
OUR warmth,
and our voices we can both share together.
Soothing each other.

Melancholy Sunday

Goodnight Sunday.
Another week has pased.
7 days of not knowing what to expect.
7 days of an uncertain, mind swirling sequence of events that can't be predicted.
7 days of my mind running a million miles a minute,
unable to focus on what it is that I'm running towards.
168 hours of an indeciveness that plagues my soul so deep,
that it's imbedded into my core,
and wraps itself around my heart and is anchored deep with a side of guilt for all I've done.
But in the 7 days,
Sunday has come,
and my mind needs to rest.
So goodnight Sunday and crazy mind.
Only 10,080 more minutes until we meet again.

Unsure.

I don't know how to act or what to say.
Will you tell me so that I don't make a mistake?
I don't know what is good or bad.
Will you tell me so that won't fall?
I don't believe that you can or will ever change who you are.
Will you tell me if I've gone too far?
I don't know that you didn't like my hand like that.
All you had to do was just ask...

Song for you.

I want to sing to you to put a smile on your face.
So you can sit and melt away into
the reds and greens and yellows. Warm.
I want to make your heart do a double take,
that makes your knees weak, your eyes close, your lips pout.
Yeah, show me that unmistakeable gorgeous smile of yours
so that I sing not only to you,
but into your whole soul until you can feel mine too,
through,
and through.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My Love.

My love. So fair you were when I saw you.
Open the door.
But as fast as I saw you, you were gone.
Not as soon as you left, you came back into my life.
You were a dream, a fantasy, a love that I had been looking for.
So what happened.
We fell in love, quick, so soon, as if all other life before us had passed away my love.
You were what I sought.
You were what I wanted, you were what I loved my fair, my hazel, my beautiful love.
I didn't know what you had, or what you were, or where you came from.
I only knew that you were here.
And that I wanted you.
I liked you.
And for all those reasons only, I wanted to be with you.
My innocence for your love, I thought you would see.
But past events, unfortunately, would surely taint.
Please know, that above all, the aforementioned was my true intention of our love, and that I wish you may have seen or looked into my soul to discover who I really was.
But, as life goes on, I know that relationships, friendships, and love does too.
And as clear as the tears that stream down this dark and lonesome night,
I know that you were very special to me.
And that I will always remember you.

Heart Drifter.

I want to make your life a better one.
Think of something sad to make you happy.
Throw my heart off the pier into an ocean of darkness.
Only to have it drift back to shore for you to have.

No you won't have to wait for anything.
Because I will have already given you what you need.
Make it yours to have.
A beatiful orchid in a sea of oilfields.
And for you I would give it all away.